If Dracula cant see his own reflection how come he has such a good parting ?

Good one's guys.

Why is it blind people wear dark glasses, but deaf people don't wear ear muffs?

Good one Martin. About time we had a bit of laughter.

No questions about the shape of ......................my anatomy

Anybody know why my belly is getting bigger ?

You're pregnant congratulations.

Think I'd rather be fat



Btw I think it unlikely as I would have remebered being impregnated.

If someone says 'Aw look at the sheep' - is that one sheep or 1000's of sheep?

Surely one sheep should be called a shep.

Your mouth is not small either





.

You know whats coming Charlie....When is a clown NOT a clown?
When he's from LOBBYLAND

Good laughs, yo leythers.
Not everyone remembers the act of impregnation, but don't worry, its probably just the ale.

Mcdonald Cheese burgers.

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

I know I’m always wrong when the Wife’s with me but am I wrong when I’m alone?

Why can I never have a decent conversation with a Pieater about the benefits and applications of calculus ?

Why do Kids at 17 have to have driving lessons but Z cars Taxi drivers don't need to have any

Because NO Pieaters will talk to you .

My freezer has a light in it. Along with 20 Greenhalgh's plain pasties ( uncooked), garlic bread and loads of Janes home made soup. Yum.

Why do women who use umberallas not have to go on training courses ?

Why does your noes run yet feet can smell?, why when you open a tin of evaporated milk does it have liquid in ?? and why when people have trouble with spelling or more to the point using correct letters in the correct order do they use a word like Dyslexia to describe it ???

Did anybody ever believe David Vincent ?The Invaders

.

Why do people not walk downstairs on escalaters when there is no one in front of them ?

Why do some stop at the bottom of an escalator stop dead then look left and right before having to be pushed out of the way ?

Why are Leigh's Bakers shops so much superior to you know where ?

Does the light go out when you close the door?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why aren’t numbers between 10 and 20 called onety one, onety two, etc?

How can Charlie be short for Charles when they both the same number of letters?

nearly choked reading that , never heard that one

Why do 'good square meals' usually come on round plates and yet round Pizza’s come in square boxes?

When people say “It’s the tourist season” does this mean its ok to shoot tourists?