If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK..? (then it's you!)

There are more questions than answers , as Johnny Nash once said

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Anyway is Littlerich really little ?
Is Salfordlad really a Lad

?
Is TV BOY really a TV ?
Is JIC religious ?

Any answers ?

If Dracula cant see his own reflection how come he has such a good parting ?

Good one's guys.

Why is it blind people wear dark glasses, but deaf people don't wear ear muffs?

Good one Martin. About time we had a bit of laughter.

No questions about the shape of ......................my anatomy

Anybody know why my belly is getting bigger ?

You're pregnant congratulations.

Think I'd rather be fat



Btw I think it unlikely as I would have remebered being impregnated.

If someone says 'Aw look at the sheep' - is that one sheep or 1000's of sheep?

Surely one sheep should be called a shep.

Your mouth is not small either





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You know whats coming Charlie....When is a clown NOT a clown?
When he's from LOBBYLAND

Good laughs, yo leythers.
Not everyone remembers the act of impregnation, but don't worry, its probably just the ale.

Mcdonald Cheese burgers.

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

I know I’m always wrong when the Wife’s with me but am I wrong when I’m alone?

Why can I never have a decent conversation with a Pieater about the benefits and applications of calculus ?

Why do Kids at 17 have to have driving lessons but Z cars Taxi drivers don't need to have any

Because NO Pieaters will talk to you .

My freezer has a light in it. Along with 20 Greenhalgh's plain pasties ( uncooked), garlic bread and loads of Janes home made soup. Yum.

Why do women who use umberallas not have to go on training courses ?

Why does your noes run yet feet can smell?, why when you open a tin of evaporated milk does it have liquid in ?? and why when people have trouble with spelling or more to the point using correct letters in the correct order do they use a word like Dyslexia to describe it ???

Did anybody ever believe David Vincent ?The Invaders

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Why do people not walk downstairs on escalaters when there is no one in front of them ?

Why do some stop at the bottom of an escalator stop dead then look left and right before having to be pushed out of the way ?

Why are Leigh's Bakers shops so much superior to you know where ?

Does the light go out when you close the door?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why aren’t numbers between 10 and 20 called onety one, onety two, etc?

How can Charlie be short for Charles when they both the same number of letters?