Seen as though everything is doom and gloom at the moment,let's have a new joke thread, I will start

I took Jet2 to court recently because they lost my luggage.

I lost the case

Can anyone beat that

My wife said she is going to leave me because of my obsession with Rugby.

I'm gutted. We've been together 10 season.

A bloke threw a pint of milk over me yesterday

I thought "how dairy"

How do you pull a fat bird ? Piece of cake.

My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.

An English cat, named One Two Three and a French cat, named Un Deux Trois, decided to have a swimming race across the Channel. The English cat won because Un Deux Trois cat sank

Police have charged a drayman with murder following the discovery of a shooting victim in the cellar of the Top house.

They think he gave him both barrels.

I'd tell you a joke about a bin but it's rubbish.

James Lowes

Knew it was coming...

I've just thought of one

Bradford Bulls don't need a scrum half

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers

Haha I like that one

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

A white horse goes into a bar. The barman says " Guess what? We've got a whisky named after you". The horse replies, "What? Eric?"

A mate of mine told me he was humping his girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart". He said, "Her Brothers got a moustache"

Chris Chester took his first training session at my club Wakefield Trinity this morning, he got all the players lined up and asked them to stand in their usual positions ..... they all went and stood behind the posts.

What's the most confusing day in Leigh?

Father's Day.

who will bulls play in the next round of the challenge cup

NO ONE

My wife went out to get some milk 6 week ago and I haven't seen her since. My mate asked me how I was managing, I told him I'm using the powdered stuff

TOP DRAW

Three men go for a job interview at the Warburtons bakery .....
One from Leigh, one from Salford & another from Wigan .....

Interviewer :
"So tell me, why do you want to work here"

Leigh man :
"Because I am flat broke, not a pot to pee in & I have been off with depression since Ryan Brierley left the Centurions Club".

Interviewer :
"So tell me, what brings you here"

Salford man :
"A bus" ........ "and err .... the social say they are gonna cut my benefits"

Interviewer :
"So tell me, why Waburtons"

Wigan man :
"Co's 'am in tur bread"


Boom ... tish.

And the Lord said to John "Come forth and you shall receive eternal life"

But john came fifth, and received a toaster

Want to hear a word i just made up?

Plagiarism