Some other memorabilia from the old days -
220 Reasons Why St Helens shouldn't be in SL next year
1. Its in scouse land.
2. There all scousers.
3. Only no how to do 2 things.
4. Speciallising in coal mining.
5. speciallising in glass making
6. Your only known because you opened the first fully man made canal.
7. Your just a small down in Merseyside.
8. You failed at being a home for a cotton and linen industry.
9. You failed at mining salt, lime and alkali pits, copper smelting and brewing.
10. All the old industries have left and become outdated
11. The name of your silly insignificant little town stretchs all the way back to the 16th century!!! Named after the "chapel of ease". LOL.
12. The chapel only consisted of a 'challis and a lytle bell. Both have gone missing, do I blame the high crime rate?
13. At the start of the 19th century, St Helens did not even exist as a real town! It was formed from the townships of Eccleston, Windle, Parr and Sutton. You've been stealing all your lifes, taking after the scouse way, are we?
14. With the population of a measly 176,000, with 74,000 houses.
15. There is approximately 19,300 offenses from "violance against the person" the english average is 16,700. Tut tut. A whole 2,600 over the english average.
16. The "theft of motor vehicle offences" is 4,700. The english average is 2,900. Again, naughty naughty.
17. The "Burglary dwelling offences" commited in the Metropolitan Borough of St Helens is 5,300. The english average is 4,300. A whole 1000 over the average. In a little town like yours. Ouch.
18. the "theft from a vehicle offences" commited is 8,600. The english average is 7,600. Again 1000 over the national average. Naughty Naughty.
19. Your little town was actully built both physically and metaphorically on coal. That in a way is embarrasing.
20. In 1913 the peak year of the mining of coal, with 1 million employed in the UK mining, the St Helens division of the Lancashire and Cheshire Miner's Federation (Your local miners' union) had the largest membership of that federation! 10%! So i think your whole town must of been mining, just imagine your population in 1913.
21. Your little town was served as a hub for the growth of Liverpool. You helped the scousers out even more. You became there leg rests really.
22. Your town used to have a clock tower with a steeple! BUT, this was destroyed in a fire in 1913. Now i wonder how that happened.. I dont have crime rates for 1913. But surely it couldnt of happened in 1913, everyone in St Helens was mining, werent they?
23. The glass industry you used to be so known for, the major employer it once was. Now isnt. But it still employs over 1000 people in the town! Now thats how much of the town.. Must be a major employer? Surely?
24. Merseyside is the poorest urban area in the UK.
25. Merseyside has low economic activity rates.
26. Below average business survival rates.
27. Very high levels of unemployment. Notably long term unemployment.
28. On average, merseyside has low domestic incomes.
29. Educational and skills levels well below those of the North West region and the rest of the UK.
30. This is all because of the lack of employment opportunites, due to no one having the money to open businesses.
31. Merseyside's resident population has continued to decline.
32. Structual decline in traditional high-employment industries over many years has contributed to this picture of Merseyside.
33. Merseyside generally had encouraged the rest of the UK to have a very poor, negative image of the area in the UK.
34. You have a similar name to Mt St Helens which results in many Japanese tourist accidentally stepping foot in your hole of a town.
35. Your people and players are reptilian as proven when Jamie Lyon came over and got sun burnt thanks for the weathers hatred for this town and your reptilian tolerance.
36. Your people never travel to other places so your council brings in an Urban beach every summer
37. You have such troublesome youth your council dedicates many of its WebPages about Youth Offending.
38. Your Mps worship the Devil and are the centre of the N.W.O conspiracy
39. A big night out in St Helens is going to the pub
40. You have well over 2000 takeaways (around 88 people per takeaway is a lot) in your area to cater your eating habits - a thing that we don’t want influencing on the rest of this country
41. The best you have to offer is Johnny Vegas and he’s done bad things
42. Search St Helens on Google Image and nothing will come up of the town and we want it to stay that way.
43. Your so desperate to be part of the world your hoping to have a tacky sculpture done by Jaume Plensa to represent your city.
44. The safety of the children of the city is zero as you only have 51 school crossing patrols in operation.
45. St Helens is where Knowsley Safari drops off all its animal droppings to be burnt making the air very smelly.
46. St Helens has yet to produce terrorist, but when they do it’ll be the end of the world.
48. You have no Television or Radiobroadcasters and we want to keep it that way
49. Your best ever club Nexus was blighted by underage drinking, drug dealing and aesthetics which means another club will never open in the town again.
50. Your taste in music is so bad your tourist board boasts that Eclectica 08 is the north west’s most exciting free event.
51. The fir Tree Farm Shop open day is the highlight of your yearly calendar.
52. You have down and out TV star Andy Abraham to switch on your Christmas lights
53. You all think that the visit of Czech Republic’s Victor Kolar exhibition of photographs
Is right up they with the exhibitions places like London and Leeds get.
54. Your tourist board considers the opening of a small art centre a dream come true.
55. The Club never makes any profit
56. The club always breaks salary cap laws
57. St Helens glass adverts were a load of rubbish. No wonder they got pulled of the TV.
58. Its got a girls name! How soft can you get???
59. Where no famous people come to call it home
60. Don’t have a music scene, if they did, they’d know what a cassette recorder was
61. Its Football club is so bad they’ve sold out to the American Dollar on their logo
62. Views Billinge Lump as its high point. Which means its low point must be pretty bad name-wise.
63. Very few people could locate St Helens on a map
64. Its more likely that St Helens would be referred to as an independent girls school
65. Has become a commercial clone town and lost all its originality by giving up its heritage.
66. If people hate Mt St Helens, what will they think of a town in the UK?
67. Plus, their football club’s home colours are a poor man’s version of sunderlands (if that’s possible)
68. The American version of St Helens has a jackass canyon. They must be saying something.
69. St Helens is latin for hopeless.
70. St Helens glass has no class. Worst slogan ever.
71. Has a worse stadium than Doncaster
72. Has a worse stadium than Widnes
73. Has a worse stadium than Feverstone
74. Has a worse stadium than Toulouse
75. Took the corruption of rugby league to the next level by having Ganson refereeing their games
76. Its just a small town in Wigan
77. The town is even considering having a statue of Kieran Cunningham erected
78. They have the biggest Chav following ever
79. Attendances only go up at Knowsley Road when Leeds are playing poorly
80. The town has the worse accents ever
81. They is nowhere to park in St Helens as the roads are full of burnt out cars
82. Your cheerleaders are men!
83. Your greatest fan is League Freak (He’s a closet fan)
84. You have the most fowl mouth fans in the land
85. You cheated Bradford, now your cheating Leeds
86. You have a terrible World Club Challenge record
87. You let go of the best player ever - Lee Briars
88. Your team is nothing but Millwards team and that’s why Daniel Anderson can’t get a job in Australia
89. Your town is into bread
90. You kill more ants than anywhere else in the world
91. Once met a guy on WoW from St Helens and I wish I never have done
92. Lots of rubbish to fall over in St Helens
93. Is the home of the worse drivers in the world
94. Your players have funny shaped balls (someone told me that)
95. The only market in St Helens is the Black Market
96. You produced the worse English winger ever in Ade Gardner
97. Your Terrace songs are rubbish
98. You will never produce a genuine karaoke star
99. You hosted the worse end of the century parties
100. I had the worse burger in St Helens
101. The only decent fish n chips is the one just outside your ground
102. Knowsley road is falling down
103. Morrison’s is more popular than you
104. You are a nothing team, with a nothing future
105. You will share your new stadium with a supermarket
106. St Helens have the worst unemployment rates in Merseyside
107. The only students that get further education in St Helens are the ones who are brought up in St Helens
108. Your best player you have right now is a head gambler
109. Your second best player prefers a night in Blackpool to a day on Bondi
110. Your team will never be better than Wigan
111. You never signed Sonny Bill Williams
112. Your only hope is Jamie Lyon and he’s long gone now
113. You will never score 70 against Leeds
114. Your team is known as and always will be known as "Dirty cheating houses"
115. Your people brave the worse perms in England
116. Your disliked by a respectable Facebooker known as Carol King from Manchester
117. You have a player who encourages the young uns to squeeze each others balls
118. Its people all go bin raiding super market sweep style
119. The fans have never got over the 27-0 creaming at Wembley
120. The lack of other sports in this city represents a dire future for the city
121. Once Sean Long goes you will never win a thing again
122. The only thing that keeps saints fans passionate is jealousy
123. You had Alec 'Dirty Twat' Murphy playing for you
124. St Helens introduced the game to 15 men (semi final)!
125. Sean Longs boyfriend has a pink Cadillac that looks suspiciously like the one from Shameless
126. St Helens are tramps who should go get they own groups on Facebook according to respectable Facebooker Hayley Gurhy from Manchester
127. St Helens is so small they don’t even have a network on Facebook
128. People from St Helens are so sad they have created a big wooden snake society that used to rot in their city centre (currently has 967 members on Facebook)
129. The people of St Helens think that Primark is Royalty clothing!
130. St Helens is full of people who think they are in Lancashire and not Merseyside
131. St Helens is the home of bad parking
132. You have people who have never left the town and think that you deserve to be the future European Capital of Culture 2057
133. You have a high rate of teenage pregnancies in the town
134. Aladdin is the highlight of your theoretical calendar
135. St Helens is the only town in England that wants a Nandos after that Critinao Ronaldo wink
136. People in St Helens would even consider spending Christmas Eve and New years Eve in St Helens.
137. You only have 67 lads as shown on the Facebook group St Helens lads
138. You consider Dale on big brother a local hero!
139. St Helens has very few pretty people
140. Toulouse have better weather
141. Feverstone is more cultured then St Helens
142. Leigh has better corner shops than you
143. Widnes have better cheerleaders than yours!
144. Halifax is more picturesque than St Helens
145. You have no decent shopping facilities
146. All your public loo’s are porter loos
147. Your fans once gave me the evils as a youngster
148. Your fans are the most arrogant ever
149. People flock from all over Merseyside on match day when Leeds fans arrive in town to nick our cars
150. Many fans who have visited Knowsley Road bare scares from tripping up
151. All your fans will go back to supporting Wigan once they are back to they best
152. St Helens is full of Emo’s
153. The town is just one big red light district
154. Your best forward likes to spend his nights out at grab a granny nights
155. The only people who smile in St Helens are the people leaving St Helens
156. You are known for your infamous bottle top festival where you pelt each other with bottle tops year after year.
157. You have the biggest Jonas brothers fan base in the UK
158. No one from your city has ever topped the charts and performed on TOTP
159. We all hate scousers
160. People from Feverstone are more tolerable
161. Leigh represent more hope for rugby league to grow
162. Widnes would win everything next year if they where in SL instead of St Helens
163. People from Halifax make better Sunday dinners
164. Feverstone has a bigger fan base than St Helens
165. St Helens will never have its own Wigan Pier
166. You do not have one decent MC
167. Your chairs are made by wood and evidently rotting away
168. We don’t understand a thing anyone says from that town
169. Your people have terrible manners
170. Your town isn’t fit to walk a dog
171. No one from your town will ever contribute to the Olympics ever
172. Your town is the biggest contributor to global warming in the UK
173. You will never have a Puig Aubert
174. Darren Albert was never really that fast (Calderwoods faster)
175. Your best forwards a ginger
176. Your second best player is a violent person
177. Van Vollenhoven’s rugby league debut was a disaster
178. You will never have a player as good as Eric Ashton
179. You will never have better coaches than the coaches you have seen at Wigan and Leeds.
180. You wasted 30K on Mal Meninga
181. Your are home to the most undiscovered meanest Mod on the net - Doogle
182. Your fans even struggle to come up with 101 reasons why your are better than Leeds
183. Your youths even break glass at the GWP
184. Rugby League is the only hope for St Helens as is Leyland and Chorley.
185. Your council is more interested in building a new stadium than solving poverty in the area (sounds like the same tactics that the south African government are doing for the 2010 football world cup)
186. It was two St Helens lassies that originally starred in the two girls one cup video
187. You ban AP from your forums because he rips you up so good
188. Your pre-match entertainment is a bore
189. Your glory days are coming to an end
190. The town is in rapid decline
191. Your club is in secret planning to eventually relocate the club to Liverpool
192. You will never have SL best fullback unlike Leeds and Wigan have
193. The town has social ties with Stuttgart in Germany (not surprised as Stuttgart is one of Germany's largest wine-growing cities)
194. The town can only boast of a four star hotel
195. You produced one of the worse commentators ever in Ray French
196. Richie Spedding would rip St Helens apart
197. Violence is typical coming from your area having produced Former Cage Rage Heavyweight Champion Rob Broughton.
198. The only good motorcycle driver you ever produced is Geoffrey Ernest Duke
199. A rubbish darts player hails from the town called Alan Tabern
200. Knowsley Road shares its ground with a football team!
201. St Helens hails no notable boxing champions
202. Fans are getting fed up of their tires been let down whilst watching the game
203. The town will never produce any international super stars
204. When I’m down they people always suss out that I’m not local
205. People of the town don’t clean up after they dogs
206. Knowsley Road is your only tourist attraction
207. Richard John Seddon hated St Helens so much he emigrated to Australia
208. You call each other Woolybacks
209. Your home to The Burgies meaning producing mutant locals
210. Your economy is based on sales from the magic mushrooms on The Burgies
211. Louise Glover could have been killed if she stayed in her hometown
212. If someone from St Helens gets to go on TV its to talk about fraud (Owen Roberts)
213. You have a terrible movie director in David Yates who hailed from the town
214. Paul Harris has introduce Britain to many years of terrible dancing
215. St Helens has dire house parties
216. Your hiding Osama Bin Laden
217. Anything that was good of the city apart from the rugby is now long gone
218. Most of the towns population are members of Alcohol Anonymous
219. Three quarters of the population of the town is over weight causing mass floods elsewhere in the world
220. This list will be more famous than the town its self
80 Reasons why Wigan Won’t Beat St Helens
1. Wigan can’t beat a small team in Wigan in a big stadium let alone a small stadium in Wigan
2. Brian Noble will be motivating Wigan this week and not Ian Lenagan
3. St Helens desperately want to match Leeds who a long time ago won the league leaders four years in a row
4. Chris Ashton has left Wigan for Northampton
5. The referee is no longer on Wigan’s side
6. Everything is conspiring against Wigan
7. Everyone wants to see another classic Wigan fan moment
8. Wigan is ruining the game over here by bringing over too many Aussies
9. All the Wigan players couldn’t care less about the club
10. This is collectively everyone’s last chance to laugh at how overrated Trent Barrett is
11. St Helens love nothing more than beating the glamour club in their city
12. The Brynolution is now in its full swing
13. St Helens want to send DA out on a high in the regular rounds
14. Wigan give up playing St Helens long before the game has started
15. DA loves getting one over failure GB coach Noble
16. The Ironic Loyal18 won’t turn out for Wigan because they will want to avoid another thrashing
17. St Helens will win it for Sean Long
18. Winning Wigan is like a cup final for St Helens
19. Jammer will own Wigan’s softcock pack all over the show
20. Wigan will be busy celebrating a play off spot early because they know that St Helens are going to thrash them anyways
21. The odds at the bookies are against Wigan winning by a country mile
22. All your English based ‘stars’ are trying too much to impress Tony Smith for the world cup
23. Wellens won’t let many tries get passed him
24. This match is a Wembley Honeymoon for St Helens
25. Its Rugby Leagues worse kept secret that Wigan have broken the salary cap this year - so Saints will do the rest of the league proud by beating them by plenty
26. Respectable Facebooker Carol King will give St Helens players reverse encouragement to win Wigan
27. Ade Gardner is the best winger in the world and that will show come Friday
28. Mark Calderwood is no Usain Bolt
29. Wigan want they small team to win league leaders rather than Leeds
30. St Helens know that this year is they last year of a glorious ten or so years for the club
31. The fans want half of the Wigan team to leave anyways
32. Richie Mathers will get sent off
33. Trent Barrett is no match for Sean Long
34. Wigan would of eaten far too many pies that week
35. The turf at Knowsley Road is too bad for Wigan’s style of play
36. St Helens will rise above the dirty Wigan tactics
37. The players want Noble to go and will assure this by getting thrashed at Knowsley Road
38. Wigan players don’t know how to tie up their shoe laces and will be falling over them all match long
39. Wigan’s defence is inviting St Helens for a record score
40. Terry Newton won’t be they to stop Sean Long
41. Wigan’s play will be dominated by jealousy of Saints winning the challenge cup
42. The gulf in class of the two clubs have never been so far apart
43. Wigan these days are a big club with high attendances, high expectations, but have little to show for it on the pitch!
44. The fall down of Wigan will take one of its final falls at Knowsley Road this Friday
45. Wigan can no longer buy for Success (even bribing Eamon won’t do it because he’s loaded any ways)
46. Wigan is still living under Maurice Lindsey’s curse
47. You let go of your best young talent who collectively could of given St Helens a decent game on Friday
48. Wigan is more of a boys club than a business that’s why Wigan win nothing decent
49. Wigan Warriors is not a successful brand as Wigan RL meaning that players don’t take playing rugby they seriously anymore
50. Brian Noble isn’t going anywhere so Wigan isn’t going to be anywhere near beating St Helens this Friday
51. Stan Wall will keep a listen for what Wigan are saying in the dressing rooms
52. Wigan will struggle to get into they dressing room as the corridors of Knowsley Road are full of trophies
53. The nation will collectively place their hand on a picture of a winning St Helens team just like we had an hand on a picture of David Beckham's foot to cure him in order for an England win.
54. Since the 75-0 thrashing Wigan have only won St Helens once!
55. Its been a disjointed Season for Wigan
56. Wigan fans are even bracing themselves for a lost
57. Winning is not even a habit of Wigan’s at the moment
58. Wigan have forgot how to win St Helens
59. Wigan will always be and have been for a long time second best to St Helens from now on
60. The Wigan players just want the season to be over
61. Even if Wigan gave St Helens they all they would still loose
62. Wigan as a club are obsessed with quick fixes that are always doomed to fail
63. St Helens will not want to loose in front of the sky cameras
64. Stevo will be putting his house on St Helens winning this match
65. Even if Trent Barrett was on the top of his game Wigan would still loose
66. Calderwood can score as many tries as he wants it still won’t be enough to beat St Helens
67. St Helens could give a load of Wigan St Patrick players a one off game in a saints shirt and Wigan will still loose
68. Wigan could draft the whole of this years State of Origin winners to play St Helens but they would still loose
69. Every time Wigan score it will be disallowed because there’s two balls on the pitch
70. This is the worse Wigan side ever!
71. Kieran Cunningham will rip Wigan up like old school
72. James Graham is popping the question to Ethel before the match. So the game will be one big engagement party!
73. The saints squad have promised Leon Pryce they will have a fancy dress up if he plays well in this game
74. Feka won’t be able to thug his way through this game
75. They is no one in this current Wigan side that could lead Wigan to a win over saints
76. Wigan have methods and systems within the club
77. They is no commitment or fight in this Wigan team
78. The players show no pride in playing for the club unlike St Helens players
79. Wigan do not play for the full 80
80. Wigan are too inconsistent to beat St Helens
