Remarkable Rhino is still a relative newbie to this forum.

I bet he still thinks a coffee table is for somewhere to put his cake.

Milk Jugs & Coffee tables

Im having dabs on that for a band name....

The poor, naive, sheltered fool. A coffee table is no place for cake around here. It'd be ruined. Unless it's chocol... no I can't do it.

The cakehole is the place for cake .. The coffee table is the place for steaming brown ....





.....beverages and biscuits .

Oh & Whitley Bay isnt [ithat[/i bad

soon to be renamed geordie shore

Milk churns, glass top coffee tables and midgets…. Oh how I miss those threads.

I've been searching for a picture showing a midget stood on a milk churn, eating cake off a glass coffee table. I'm yet to be successful but the results so far have been...interesting.

Oh Yes!

must be akward why you keep having Asthma attacks....

Drum porn too.

I'm a long time reader. Whilst I don't know the full story, I've picked up bits. Something to do with a glass coffee table and human faeces? I'm not sure I wan't to know if I'm honest. I quite like getting sleep without any problems and not waking up screaming.



Ferdy...

I got a text the other day saying could I get home early because a designer was coming to look at the front room?! WTF?! Apparently... I should've been grateful I was getting an input! We're not even married yet. I'm fooked.

Designer?


DESIGNER?!


And you're still there?!

In her defence... (and opening myself up to a barrage of abuse!)... it's a pretty big room, and does look pretty sh[ii[/it with just two sofas in the middle of it pointing at the TV.

And what the designer has come up with does look infinitely better. Although the £25,000 - yes - TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND POUND quote to make it a reality did knock me for 6 a little.

Did they wear stripey jumpers?!

holy sh*t









£25K? Ill do it for a fraction of the cost and a crate of Strongbow

Crazy isn't it. The Mrs is talking about getting her onto the bloody bathroom next.

Does the design include a glass coffee table?

Being.

Glass coffee table. Shanter...

All hope is lost for you, we shall raise a glass and think of you briefly in passing then chalk your name on the blackboard of rememberence and sing the hymn of the single man, "Pray to the Lord my wallet to keep".



£25k to redecorate a living room - that Tom & Jerry stylee jackass head is quite fetching in a certain light...

[urlhttp://italianfood.about.com/od/furredgameetc/r/blr0269.htm[/url

Do the job while they are both out, serve with soft lighting, candles and a Renee & Renata album playing in the background.



Then leave town with all your worldly possessions.

I really think McF should have his own agony uncle sticky thread on here. He's a waaaay funnier and relevant source of knowledge than those two ockers on the fosters adverts.

I reckon its the inner curmudgeon that does it.

Its something we have been thinking about for some time, I often despair of the stupidity of youth these days and wish to impart my hard-fought life-knowledge upon the misguided, mis-interpreted and simply bewildered in an attempt to prevent them making the same mistakes as I did.

So for starters, lets recap on the life-long Rules of Thumb...


If a female does not offer to share the bill on a first date, then that should also be the last date, for mark my words, your poor dead wallet will henceforth forever lie in a foreign field called her handbag.

Do not ever drink in a pub with a flat roof.

Do not ever drink in a pub that needs "security" on the door.

Housework is the devils work, if you volunteer to do any of it she will expect you to do that deed. for ever, that is, for the rest of your life - and often from beyond the grave too.

Shopping for anything but cake is simply unacceptable and a vexation to the spirit.

Joint bank accounts are natures way of telling you that you have just been castrated and are now officially classed as female, have you ever noticed how many women work in banks, they rule the nations finances and reached this position of power by inventing joint bank accounts.

Do not ever accept an invitation to go and live in Whitley Bay, ever.

Cheers for the advice, I'll give it a crack