How about scrum-forward for the hooker and loose-scrum for the ruck. It used to be known as the loose-scrum.

And get rid of the scrum, it's a farce.

Also get rid of the term loose-forward and call the three of them back-rowers. And all teams to play on artificial surfaces.

Fridays or sundays?

If you got rid of the scrum you wouldn't have a back row.

You could maybe call em inside centres , but then the loose would have to be the "inside the inside centre but not utside the other inside centre forward"

Hutchie has a point.

In fact we could call hookers escorts, as they escort the play the ball. If you need to have 2 in the squad you could have a high class one and an agency one

could call them the centre centre

If the loose forward is the 3rd Middle then the Hooker is the 1st Middle. Obviously Props are the 2nd Middles and 2nd Rowers are Side Middles.

What colour all shall we play with?

Ok. I laughed.

What you call players doesn't really depend on the scrum anymore, as it's a farce. Fine, you don't like the names.

How about this? Five-eighth instead of stand-off, halfback instead of scrum-half, halves instead of half-backs, rake for the No.9. Forwards for Nos. 8 + 10, and supporting forwards for numbers 11, 12 + 13?

And I'm now a Hull FC Fan, bought 70 quid's worth of good from the online shop

Are you milk monitor this week?

As I've told you, I'm not in school.

Anyway, ok, keep the name, ruck; but hooker has to go. How about kuzultoor for hooker? It's taken from the Welsh word for connector.