Heres a cracker !!! viewtopic.php?t=433724

Heres a cracker !!! viewtopic.php?t=433724

Quote ="MR BOJANGLES"Heres a cracker !!! viewtopic.php?t=433724 '" They are a bunch of mongs

Quote ="MR BOJANGLES"Heres a cracker !!! viewtopic.php?t=433724 '" They are a bunch of mongs

I'm sure I've posted this somewhere before on here but here goes...

A woman asked a barman for a [idouble entendre[/i so he gave her one.


ba-dum tish

There's a man sitting in the front row at the Super League Grand Final, but amazingly, there's an empty seat beside him. Another man spots it, goes up to him and says: "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"No, not at all," replies the first man. "It's my wife's seat, but she died recently.."

"So why didn't you get one of your family to come," asks the second man out of curiosity.









"They're all at the funeral."

An East Hull schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a KR fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are KR fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a KR fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a KR fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am an Hull FC fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why are you an FC fan?" "Because my mum is an FC fan, and my dad is an FC fan, so I'm an FC fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be an FC. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?"












"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a KR fan."

Statistically....6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.




My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fooking red mark on her forehead.





Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.

After complaints, the makers of cluedo have now included one black character........

no i've bottled it, i'm not gonna put the punchline in



good joke though

[size=42So now you only have to work out where and how he did it?[/size

I wasn't sure how you'd take the punchline, so I've made it smaller so that it's optional to read.



Bouncing off you cluedo joke:

Cluedo must be fun in Buckingham Palace.

Do you reckon anyone is brave enough to go "It was Prince Philip in the Tunnel with the M.I.6"?

Three nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat.

Not an unusual habit on a hot day.

So about a half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped over pews clear across the huge chapel.

They ask who it is.

“The blind man,” a voice replies.

The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is blind.

He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, “Nice tits! Where do you want me to install these blinds?”

Thats the one

Are you Grafton Red as in Liverpool or Grafton as in Newland Ave ??? Sorry to go o/t

as in Newland ave, second home....but the wife may disagree

And also statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

statistically... 10 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape, when her secret is aids.

Kill Youth Culture playing round corner from you mate at Adelphi 30th Oct - worth checking out (hoping to get there myself).

Whats the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot.

The first one is an Aussie marsupial and the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Two nun’s cycling to the Vatican, one says

“follow me, I know a shortcut!”

5 minutes later the other Nun says

“I’ve never come this way before…”

The other nun replies “Yeah, I know…it’s the cobbled streets that do it”





What’s the difference between a prostitute in the bath and a nun?

The Nun has hope in her soul…





What’s the difference between Fanny Craddock and Cross Country running?

One’s a pant in the country…

david mills

Cheers roofs but i would'nt have been able to make it on the 30th, but checking their myspace site it is on the 31st.......having said that i have a wide and varied taste in music but listening to a couple of samples of their music i think it would be stretching it a far for me and certainly the wife would'nt be pleased, again cheers anyway.



A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

What Jewelry would that be? A pearl necklace?

very funny