The place always gets a bit heavy when a political hot potato lands, so how about a little bit of light relief:

12 of the finest double-entendres that have been aired on British TV & Radio


1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother.'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't
that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so
hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North
said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this.'

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky
Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he
gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come
in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey

Good morning and welcome to Lords, The bowler is Holding, the batsmen's Willey

You've come over at a very appropriate time; Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end. -

Brian Johnston

Classics!!!

davies at the cup game last week: My careers come down to being a ball bag holder

classic kevin keegan.
chile have three options-they could win or they could lose.

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"

Classic David Coleman from Ron Pickering

Ted Lowe on Snooker

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

Ferrdinand Rio, Man U defenseman

Gary Neville was the captain and now Ryan Giggs has taken on the mantelpiece

For those of you watching (snooker) in black and white. The red ball is behind the brown ball

Eddie Waring some years ago

"Hello and welcome to the Boilyvood er the Boolyvoid er the Bollyvand".........(silent pause)......."Er sorry there.... as I was saying........ Welcome to Hulls ground!!"

France are the second best team in the world. And there's no higher praise than that.
Kevin Keegan. What a plank.

Was I imagining it or did Stevo once say that "Grag Mackey had a great pair of Brains"?

LOL. I think that was Murph commenting on a CC final originally. Maybe the subject was schizophrenic

'Chile have 3 options - they could win or they could lose.'

Kevin Keegan. Again.

Johnothan Davis- Is that what my career has come down to being a ball bag holder

chris kamara at his best
"neil baker is standing on the touchline with his hands in his tracksuit bottoms scratching his head"

Big Ron

'He's lightning slow'

Not really a Colemanball but..

I was in my car a while back listening to Warrington play someone on Radio Merseyside; Ray French was commentating. My wife and Mother in law in the car.

My mother in law asked, 'What does he meen feleebrious, he says Warrington allways look feleebrious?'

No dear Warrington look for Lee Briers.

Made me laugh anyway, I'll get me coat.

My wife


at Alton towers when we were leaving (first time she'd been)


heading for the monorail to the car park said

"Memorial service? why we going to a memorial service?"


read it again love.


laughed all the way home

Eddie Hemmings during Friday nights commentary:

"It looked like a forward pass.............that's why I thought it was a knock on!"

my mates missus used to think that the pub in town was called the "Briers Bar" not Breeze