A man walks into a library and asked if they had any books about suicide. The librarian says "Have a look at the end of Row S, top shelf".

The man goes over, and then in a minute, he comes back. "I had a look, but the whole shelf is empty".

"Ah, yes", says the librarian, "...no fkcer ever brings 'em back"

I heard facebook had published a list of 71 genders, but when I looked there was only 70!

Someones hidden a gender if you ask me

(probably sam smith haha)

Sadly the biggest / best joke i know is our club.

If a Fax/Hudd/Kley supporter had posted that I can guess what the response would be

In much the same way that I can call my girlfriend fat. But I don't expect you to. It's not difficult to understand.

Although, to be fair, we are drifting back into joke club again. It may be a laughing matter for Fax/Hudd/Kley fans, but it really isn't for us long-suffering, lied to and ripped off again Bulls fans.

Still, laugh it up, mate.

As we appear to imminently be walking in a sewage shower whilst looking up at the sky with our mouths open, I want this topic to stay light and fluffy please.

I agree PP just responding to a post I don't recall making any Derogatory Comments or
Laughing

Tell us a joke then chief.

Two fish in a tank
One says to the other


How do you drive this thing

Peter starts his new job at the London Zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, Peter beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased; he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, Peter is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, Peter says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

Peter moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, 'What's the food like here?'

The lion replies,

'Absolutely brilliant!..... Today we had fish, chimps & mushy bees.'

Why shouldn’t you wear Ukrainian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fall out.

Mamma Mia: classic ABBA song or a Yorkshire kid telling his mum he's arrived?

my dog died in the washing machine today, i dont feel too bad knowing he died in comfort.

Bloke from Barnsley with a sore h0le asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell ar5e cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"

Great additions those! Made me laugh at least. Let’s try to get this thread as long as the other more depressing ones please

I like jokes about eyes.

The cornea the better.

I entered an erection competition last week.

I got to the semi

I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg.

I thought: ‘This could be interesting

Drunk on his way home from the pub late at night. feeling randy, the only thing he could see with a hole was a lorry parked up for the night.Desperate he gave it a good one and carried on home satisfied.Next day he went to his doctor with a black penis. Doc says I have checked you out and I am sorry to say you are HGV positive.. say you are HGV positive.

Two blondes walk into a building.

You'd think one of them would've seen it.

How do you circumcise a Cas fan?

Kick his sister in the jaw!

Yorkshire version of creation:
On t'first day, t'world were covered i' darkness and God said "let there be leet" and there was leet an' ya could see fer miles.
On t'second he created Yorkshire an' called it his own country.
On t'third day he created Yorkshireman to look after t'land and t'crops.
On t'fourth day he created Yorkshire lass to be a companion an' mek Yorkshire puddings.
On t'fifth day he created t'North Sea so they could have fish 'n chips.
On t'sixth day he wor running out of ideas so he created Lancahire.
On t'seventh day he said "by heck after all this work I need a rest."

God went missing for six days.

The Archangel Gabriel found him resting on the seventh day.

“What have You been up to?’’ he said.

“I’ve created the planet Earth and it will be a place of great balance,’’ said God.

“How do you mean?’’ said Gabriel and God explained.

“North America would be wealthy and South America would be poor.

"Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there a continent of black people. There will be places that are hot and places that will be cold.’’


Gabriel was impressed and pointed to an area in England and said: “What’s that?’’

“That,” said God: “is Yorkshire, the most glorious place on Earth. There will be beautiful lakes, streams, rivers and hills, great music, architecture and sporting giants. The people from Yorkshire will be modest, intelligent and witty. They will be sociable, hard working and high achievers. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peace-makers.’’


Gabriel gasped in admiration, thought for a moment, and said: “But what about balance? You said there will be balance.’’

“Ah,’’ said God, nodding sagely. “Let me tell you about Lancashire

"I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman the other day. He was wearing a cat flap."

Stanley decided to lookup his friend Alf, who was a tight-fisted Yorkshireman. He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield stripping the wallpaper from the dining room. Rather obviously, he remarked, "You're decorating, I see." To which Alf replied, "Nay Stanley lad, I'm moving 'ouse to Bradford."