Translation:

Die Jordan!

At least if I did I wouldn't have these uni assignments to do!

Wouldn't think a snapped rib would hurt a Jord_Rhinosaur. Thought it'd take at least 6 rapors to have you feeling the pain.

All about correct footwear kn this weather isn't it? Well is, need some decent grip. Flippy flops are no geo mucho goodo. Dr Martins. Poifect.

well he wouldn't be in pain then would he

Stop typing then, please.

Attacked by posh coffee?

My street is like Millenium Square in January

West Lancs council don't seem to like gritters so at least 3 local roads are shut here coz of RTAs - got to love cost cutting haven't you

i don't give a stuff about west lancs, as i don't have to drive there!

i feel sorry for the horses pulling them carts

I'm broadying everywhere today, not fun.

Thanks to poor weather, I've been forced to work from home today.

Can't wait for 'Loose Women' this afternoon

Fasten your wheels to some skis.

Some girl I walked to uni this morning with, slipped on the ice. She had heels on her shoes, so I just laughed. I think she's fallen out with me now.

you will have to give them all something warm to drink when they skate past your house then!

Hahahahahahahahaha

Serve her right for not wearing Ugg boots.

We met on the special bus, the one where the windows taste like strawberries.

a lass i work with slipped over in the car park this morning, she thought no one had seen, but i had!

Jord will tell you how bad my street is...reet hill at the end...im in the middle

That's the funniest thing about icy days. People slipping, then thinking nobody's seen them and so try to make themselves look all cool.

poor H

jord knows because he left there early this morning!

jealous?