Technology progresses apace, and it's only a matter of time before you will have mini all-purpose comms devices the size of a button. But right now, you can get a fairly small phone, about credit card size.

Except in the UK you may not as the [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23782136UKis considering "banning" so-called key fob mobile phones[/url, on the bizarre grounds that they could get into the hands (or assholes) of jail inmates.

Yes it's brilliant technology, yes it could be extremely useful for all manner of applications and situations, but hey let's "ban" it. As some prisoners - thousands of whom already make calls and have mobiles - might find it a bit easier to do so.

What is wrong with these people?

My four-year-old (un-smart) Samsung is the size of my thumb.
It's no bigger than a data-stick or MP3, I could hide it up my rectum should I so choose.
Will there be an -size phone amnesty?

There is already a problem with phones (of "normal" sizes) in prisons.
The simplest thing would be just to block signals.

Now the last time that was mentioned there was a much touted opinion that those measures are impossible and not legal, and yet every time I go onto a power station I can't get a signal on my phone, especially on nuclear power stations.

I'm at Sellafield tomorrow and would do an experiment for you except that they make you leave your phone outside the site

House the prisoners in my local Morrison's. Five full 3g bars outside, step through the doors and zilch

Yep, as suspected, good signal on the Blackberry all the way around the southern lakes and coastline, pull into Sellafield's car park for the security monkeys to crawl all over and under your car and Bingo, signal gets wiped off and stays off all morning until you''re about two miles away.

I've found the same at Hartlepool and Torness nuclear power stations too, but not any of the "traditional" ones.

One of the big festivals managed to block all but one (a sponsor, unsurprisingly) a few years back, so it's obviously possible, and how could it be illegal? The signal must belong to the transmitting company, on a licence granted by the Government. One small clause inserted into the contract, sorted.

Maybe we should stitch the assholes up of everyone being sentenced to prison and fit them with a colostomy bag, problem solved.

My living room appears to have developed a similar problem!!

I'm sure the next-door neighbours have put lead wallpaper up!!

Simple then, move prisons next to nuclear power stations!