Following a relentless campaign by Minty, I hear that Pope JPII is going to be promoted to a Saint on 8th December. But you can pray to him now, as he's (obviously) already doing the odd miracle.

It's not entirely clear whether he's still one miracle short, so I've asked him if he can fix it for the Bulls to win the GF. I am sceptical of these Saintly miracles, but you must admit if Karol pulls that one off, then it must all be true.

Hurrumph.

Presumably these saints go on in perpetuity, so what is it about heaven that makes The God call on The Pope to "send me another saint, things are getting out of control up here".

What is it they do, what is their job function, why do catholics need so many of them, will we get another days holiday ?

These are all questions that need answering...

Didn't JP the second make more saints during his pontificate than all the other Popes before him ?

That's the problem with miracles these days. They've all been dumbed down. We need a return to more rigorous standards of testing miracles.

Tbf, as we now know he WAS a Saint himself, then presumably, he should know ... ?

Patron Saint of Justice Evaders?

That's my birthday.
Can one self-anoint?

But who will buy the slices of toast on eBay?

If you wish to as it's your birthday then you should be able to self-anoint

As part of the new process, JPII also got rid of the Devil's Advocate too. Now I know it's no "Citizen Kane" but I quite enjoyed it. Pacino was splendidly OTT.

Wasn't Keanu Reeves in it as well ?

As miracle no.1 was apparently from the grave (or heaven), being performed a month after his death, he is seriously one talented dude.

Yep.

Or Saint Ted "Theodore" Logan as he's better known

I don't think you get this miracles lark. Doing them when dead is kinda the whole point.

The whole concept is just so weird, though, isn't it? I mean, if you had a problem, then with a whole host of existing Saints to pray to, not to mention god, who are these people that take what must amount to a pure chance on some whippersnapper who might not be any good at all?

Then again, maybe it's like a call centre, but everyone has to take their own calls. On that basis, it might be very hard to get through to, say, St. Peter, who is bound to be very busy, so maybe the supplicant took a calculated gamble by picking an apprentice, who logically would be a lot quieter.

If you were a jaded deity, hard-bitten by millennia of trillions of good, bad and indifferent prayers, then I can see how even professionally-prepared prayers may not make it to the playlist.
[url=http://newsthump.com/2013/06/29/god-listening-to-mandela-prayers-remains-undecided/God has declared that he is hearing all the prayers for Nelson Mandela, but has yet to make his mind up on whether he’s going to listen.[/url

So when the Big J healed the blind, walked on water, cleansed the odd leper he was actaully dead? This religion stuff is confusing. Where does Greavesie fit into all this?

Look, the only ones that need to do it when they're dead are those looking to upgrade, silly.

If I want a miracle enacted, how do I know which Saint is reliable?
Is there a sort of celestial comparethebeatified.com ?

Quote ="El Barbudo"If I want a miracle enacted, how do I know which Saint is reliable? Is there a sort of celestial comparethebeatified.com ?'" Of course! saints.sqpn.com/

Quote ="El Barbudo"If I want a miracle enacted, how do I know which Saint is reliable? Is there a sort of celestial comparethebeatified.com ?'" Of course! saints.sqpn.com/