www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/12132990 That is a blow especially when i have a nine inch tongue and can breathe through my ears.

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/12132990 That is a blow especially when i have a nine inch tongue and can breathe through my ears.

This is old news.

'Mouths were designed for eating (and occasionally a bit of breathing) but nothing else. Only revolting perverts – particularly the gay kind – would even think of using them for some other, entirely unnatural purpose.'

You haven't, have you....?

For those unable to abstain despite the awful risks, why not just wear one of those huge thin polythene bags that you get your suit in from the dry cleaners, for total protection?

I have indeed just paraphrased you.

I feel dirty now.

Better get the old diving togs on then.

If God had designed things a bit better he wouldn't have put the snack bar next to the toilets.

Or the chocolate shop in one of the toliets.

I've got a resucitation mask that I'm sure I can modify to make a portable version.


I'd bet Dally wouldn't turn a BJ down, though I suppose that's different.

That wasn't an offer by the way.


Sorry Dally.

Vacuum cleaners are more hygenic.

From the link ...The government vaccinates young women aged 12 to 13 against HPV.

I was under the impression that they were old enough if their feet reached the floor . Apparently the government approve when their knees touch the floor .

Always go for a 68

That's where she goes down on you and you owe her one

Or do the finger sniffing test first. Some are preferable to munch on than others.

With your love of cod I would have thought that it's other way around.

Clean ones smell of cod .

I once knew a guy who contracted chlamydia in his mouth from going down on a dirty bird. He was mentally scared that much that the mere mention of oral sex would make him gip. True story.

It could be pointed out that if your acquaintance didn't go around having casual sex ...

I think the rule is, if when you open it up it looks like you are opening up a cheese toastie, then dont go anywhere near it!

Blue waffle...

Fresh cod smells only of the sea

I thought the rule was only eat a kebab after at least 10 pints.

I'm with Dally on this one. Last evening I swallied a minimum of 10 pints of Czech lager. A main course of large doner with extra garlic and chilli sauce and a portion of Prague pussy for afters. Hopefully the sauces will have been preventional in me catching any unwanted nasty diseases!