Elf & Safety is real. Make no mistake.

In a decision which will doubtless be described as either compensation culture gone mad, or a sensible and level-headed assessment of the facts and responsibility for public safety, Santa and one of his Elves have been found negligent following the visit of Mrs. Dufosse, an elderly lady who was injured when she tripped and fell over an icicle in Santa's grotto.

It happened in a well-known London department store. Santa and his elf were originally cleared, but the case went on appeal, and was deliberated on and eventually decided in the giddy heights of the Court of Appeal, Lord Justice Rix, Lord Justice McFarlane LJ and Sir Mark Potter. They found:
"[iEven though the system used by Santa and the elf might have been excellent, the elf was concerned with many other duties and it was possible that on that occasion Santa and the elf were not as careful in the taking of precautions as they should have been[/i."

In a seasonal decision offering comfort to the millions who will be taking their life in their hands in passing through Santa's Grotto in the next week or so, the Court of Appeal observed:
"[iIn the circumstances, it was not D's duty to ensure that there were no tripping hazards in the grotto; it was the duty of Santa and the elf[/i."

BARMY!

In a country with a great system such as the NHS the amount of compensation culture is ridiculous it has to be said. Ok this is an elderly lady so may have been effected worse but what happened to when a fall was just a fall and you got up feeling a bit daft not just wanting to get a ridiculous amount of compensation from somewhere.

Oh, Jesus. Surely not.

I take it that Mr. Justice Aardvark's lack of response thus far is due to his uncontrollable hilarity.

[url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8959951/Grandmothers-grotto-fall-was-Santas-fault-rule-judges.htmlA pen and ink to the story.[/url

I like the way it's all worded such that it fits in with kids' perceptions of Santa .. Miracle on 34th Street style.
They are real, kids ... honest.

Not 'the person playing Santa' and 'the person playing the elf'.

I've always said that someone should look closer at that Santa and his working practices, I suppose he'll say that its just a coincidence that every single one of his employees is an elf but you have to question the recruitment policy of a business who manage to have 100% of its staff from only one ethnic mix, have you ever seen any black elves, or tall elves, or old elves, no I thought not.

Offshore manufacturing to keep wage rates down, RSPCA issues in using animals as transport, Rudoph's bullying in the workplace which was never investigated properly, and that year that he left me some liquer chocolates that were two years beyond their sell by date.

He should be locked up.

I am in the WTF

camp on this one.

Perhaps they should jail Santa, put it on the news and have a millions of little kids crying as well.

I heard that the reason Santa's always got that flushed, red-cheeked appearance is because he's always in rude elf.

He's so smitten, that's where the main reindeer's name comes from.

This is clearly Elf and Safety gone mad.