Ditto.

If you are religious, then you'd be worried if the ultimate threat of your User Manual - the Apocalypse - turned out to be nothing more than the odd spot of rain. I mean, some people had to put on a coat, and wellies too. Clearly the ultimate vengeance of a truly mighty deity. Proof enough for me.

Must have been quite bad for the future King to have to put on his wellies and go inspect some land in the hope that it wasn't any of his land for what on earth would one do if ones inheritance was reclaimed by ones deity ?

On a serious note, if you truly believe that the current crop of bad weather is purely down to your deity of choice being unhappy at same-sex marriage, then you really do need help.

Quote ="Dally"Back on topic ...... Cameron MUST stop this gay marriage business. After two (if that's possible?) apocalyptic storms in recent days the Express is now predicting a "significant" storm coming in on Friday, which will be more severe than the recent apocalypse and subsequent apocalyptic storm! www.express.co.uk/news/nature/45 ... IS-weekend'" I really do hope that you are not being serious ???

Quote ="Dally"Back on topic ...... Cameron MUST stop this gay marriage business. After two (if that's possible?) apocalyptic storms in recent days the Express is now predicting a "significant" storm coming in on Friday, which will be more severe than the recent apocalypse and subsequent apocalyptic storm! www.express.co.uk/news/nature/45 ... IS-weekend'" I really do hope that you are not being serious ???

What we need is for Kirkstaller to put in an appearance, and direct us towards the appropriate passage in the Bible, where we could get the ecclesiastical equivalent of a two for one offer: Save our Souls, plus an instant reduction in Somerset river levels.

Has to be worth a try as Kay Burley and Charles haven't managed to achieve anything.......

Look in the Krayon instead, fastest growing religion, linked to science and they keep women in their place. And they ing hate the gays.

Quote ="Dead Man Walking" Quote ="Dally"Back on topic ...... Cameron MUST stop this gay marriage business. After two (if that's possible?) apocalyptic storms in recent days the Express is now predicting a "significant" storm coming in on Friday, which will be more severe than the recent apocalypse and subsequent apocalyptic storm! www.express.co.uk/news/nature/45 ... IS-weekend'" I really do hope that you are not being serious ???'" Of course he's serious. And he's right. The last time Somerset flooded like this was 1919, the year Liberace was born. Coincidence? I think not.

Quote ="Dead Man Walking" Quote ="Dally"Back on topic ...... Cameron MUST stop this gay marriage business. After two (if that's possible?) apocalyptic storms in recent days the Express is now predicting a "significant" storm coming in on Friday, which will be more severe than the recent apocalypse and subsequent apocalyptic storm! www.express.co.uk/news/nature/45 ... IS-weekend'" I really do hope that you are not being serious ???'" Of course he's serious. And he's right. The last time Somerset flooded like this was 1919, the year Liberace was born. Coincidence? I think not.

What's Liberace gotta do with the gays? Straight as an arrow that bloke.

I presume back in Biblical time, God must have been using something like Plague 1.0 which was a very primitive OS by today's standards and whilst effective on primitive minds, did not have anywhere near enough RAM to be anything other than a blunt instrument.

However surely in 2014 he must be on something like Plague 7 or Plague 8? Wouldn't this, especially given the advantage of infinite processing power, be able to target plagues like water or locusts or whatever just to the individuals who are for gay marriage, instead of every feckin body, including your entire local fan base?

Or couldn't he better still just send the relevant people a direct Tweet, or FB them?

Turns out he's running Plague Vista. He's trying to use his new Smite2014 application but it keeps telling him he's not got sufficient permissions.

Mr. Kirkstaller is gone from here but if he was he'd say it was the gays that done it I bet. I wonder where that ray of sunshine is.....?

Making sure his kids are full of hate no doubt.

Yes, I recall an earlier version kept crashing with unexpected results. It did run like lightning, though.

The God :

"Press Submit to start lightning application..." Submit

"Are you sure you wish to strike The Bird Cage nightclub..." Yes

"You have chosen to strike... The Bird Cage nightclub
With .... One zillion volt lightning bolt
Using ... Armageddon God Tools 3
Are you sure you wish to continue ?" Yes

"Thank You for using Armageddon God Tools 3, press Continue for a preview of Armageddon God Tools 4 or F1 to view the results on Microsoft Video Player" F1

"Oh FFS !!!, Jesus, shift your in here and look at this, who installed this fekkin useless piece of shoite software, LOOK WHAT ITS DONE TO MY VATICAN you useless fekkin pile of crap..."

Hello, my name is Jesus from software support, and I am here toi help you today, what seems to be the problem?

{problem}

So, you are having issues with the One zillion volt lightning bolt feature, am I correct?

Well - er, yes.

This is no problem at all Sir, rest assured I am here to help you and I will certainly look into this for you.

{ 15 minutes elapse }

Thank you so much for waiting. I have looked into your account and indeed I see that you did have an issue with the One zillion volt lightning bolt which struck the Birdcage Bar at the Vatican which was not your intention. Am I correct?

Er... yes? It caused like 500,000m euros worth of damage?

Well I will certainly bring this to the attention of the game developers. Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

What, like maybe a cheque for 500,000m euros ?

I'm really sorry but I don't have the ability to issue you with a cheque for 500,000m euros. What I have done is credit your account with 30 reward points and also if you care to restart your game, you will see that I have also refilled your energy and reset the One zillion volt lightning bolt timer

For those who thought the UKIP man was wrong: www.express.co.uk/news/uk/459302 ... -at-120mph

For those who thought the UKIP man was wrong: www.express.co.uk/news/uk/459302 ... -at-120mph

Quote ="Dally"For those who thought the UKIP man was wrong: www.express.co.uk/news/uk/459302 ... -at-120mph'" The UKIP man WAS and REMAINS wrong. And quoting the Express doesn't make him any more right (if anything it compounds his wrongness)

Quote ="Dally"For those who thought the UKIP man was wrong: www.express.co.uk/news/uk/459302 ... -at-120mph'" The UKIP man WAS and REMAINS wrong. And quoting the Express doesn't make him any more right (if anything it compounds his wrongness)

I'd heard on the radio there was a Red weather warning. I just assumed it was those pesky Communists at it again.

Maybe that witch hunter Joseph McCarthy was right after all?
Damned Commies and homo's.
No wonder it's relentlessly persisting down!

Meanwhile those clever folks at the Met Office are basically saying, "If you think [ithis[/i storm is bad- wait till next Thursday.

I think I'll book next Thursday off and stop in bed. Or maybe under it.

A 'red under the bed'.

This is all beginning to make perfect sense now.

How do you know that Chris? Worst this that and the other for 240 years. Is that really coincidental timing?

Or its climate change, as has been predicted and talked about for years

What about 241 years ago? Who's to say it wasn't as bad then?

UKIP man is still nuts

Yes.

Or else there'd have been effing big floods in ancient Greece.