Someone just rang me up to tell me I'm ace.

Surprised it doesn't happen more often.

Samaritans are nice like that though eh

You nasty mini lugged Thai bride loving demon trout.

I'd ask em what they were after

love it

How's your small ear, Smallie?

I am deaf wormy. Well annoyed, at least not hurting at the moment.

Has anyone seen my epi pen?

I appear to be having some sort of massive allergic reaction to nothing.

Maybe ur allergy is ur other halves shopping bill on clothes that must have sent u into sum kind of shock

I love mash potato, me.

I got a free pudding today in Telford, cocky chef had a dish of Bird's eye chillies at the till, "Eat one of these and pudding's free" he said. Spotted dick and fresh cream, lush.

Oooh was just asking about you. How's the arm? Is it Gangrenous yet?

Don't like spotted dick.

Beggars can't [ireally[/i be choosers in your case.

Get the name of the club right and [imaybe[/i you can join.

See, eating meat kills you. Fact.

Goodness, a traveller wedding just went past, never seen anything like it.

About twelve flat back trucks and pick ups completely covered in flowers with Phil Collins blaring out.

What was the dress like?

Big, probably.

I read somewhere that wearing the ridiculous things causes actual physical harm because they are so heavy.

Ironic that they wear so much in one dress on their wedding days but so little every other day of their lives.

What am I talking about, I've got Traveller weddings on the brain, it was a blooming funeral.

Absolute carnage, people driving on the pavement, all roads in the surrounding area blocked, rozzers all over the shop.

I find that programme about them strangely compulsive, much to Mr Worm's disgust.

On one episode it showed the anniversary of the death of a young male traveller that had been killed in a car crash (joy riding, reading between the lines). Every year they had a massive party around his grave - which they had made into a sprawling shrine - with music and masses of alcohol. Left the graveyard and surrounding graves in an appalling state. And this happens every YEAR.

Bet it wouldn't happen if the dead person was a young girl, though.

Was the funeral out of control or just a typical example of how they appear to steamroller over everyone else?

Just steamrollered everything in sight, with a parade, the blaring music, people hanging out of windows, driving four abreast, doing mental U turns, parking in the middle of the street. Bizarre.

I also find it wrongly compulsive viewing as basically it's taking the waz out of their culture.

Erm, any chance of a PM as to what's going on?

I seemed to be momentarily banned then?