Ottringham Tandoori make a mean Phall, the waiter came over all smug and asked how I was and was shocked when the plate was half gone, we had a little joke and he went away and came back with another bloke, they suggested I tried a 'Double Phall' on my next visit.

I did, it was hot. My mouth blistered and they all laughed at me. Not sure what they did to it.

That's awful I'd have whacked em one with my naan bread we eat a lot of chillies we make a lot of our own burgers the frozen chillies are quite good to cook with do u ever watch man v food on sky

Is Tim Lovejoy the biggest pig on tv?
So far he has got all excited that he took his 14 year old daughters and beat them and their friends at bowling (What a big man eh!), He has pretty much said that female police officers need to have a male collegue with them to do their jobs, He is well known for switching from Charlton to Chelsea when it became fashionable and he became 'famous' and he always talks like he is better than anybody else.

BTW I am not actually watching it but it is on in the background.

Who's Tim Lovejoy?

Ha, exactly.

Pig is polite. He is so annoying with that creepy fake laugh. Always swaying about when he's standing and if you notice he constantly rubs his thighs when sitting. Was so pleased when he made a prat of himself on Celebrity Masterchef. Tries so hard to be trendy, and fails.

Curries aren't meant to be red hot - the sublime flavours are created by creating complex masalas.

Chillies were used to preserve meat, and also disguise the taste of rotting meat in hot countries. The Ottingham waiters were laughing at you becaused you were actually consuming a ten week old corpse, maggots and all. The blisters were not caused by the chillis (that's an impossibility as the 'heat' isn't actual heat), but by the foul bacteria present in the rotton flesh.

I'd have peed myself watching you, too.

I've had worse in my mouth, Wormy.

I'm becoming increasingly obsessed with Gelatin. I've discovered that its often used in the clarification process in beers, cider & wine. I always thought it was isinglass, which i could live with if I didn't think about it too much.
Why oh why did I have to find this out?

I've just cut my arm off, at Grimsby A&E. I'll update later.

I'd put some Savlon on that, it'll sting a bit though.

Just been watching Wigan against Wasps in the 1996 Middlesex Sevens.

Christ it's funny, I remember Lorenzo Bruno Nero "Lawrence" Dallaglio giving it large and the Wasps players whooping it up to their fans when they went 15-0 up. Then Wigan and in particular the marvellous Tuigamala absolutely steam rollered them, the Wasps players with their foppish Eton hair cuts were nearly crying at the end.

Look on't video site which cannot be named.

Enjoyed that

Did I hear the Twickenham crowd groan/boo when Farrell put in kick and chase @ the end?

Odd breed over there.

I'm all betterer now.

What a team that was, you forget just what an awesome player Tuigamala was, massive, fast, hits very hard in defence and looks completely terrifying!

He's an undertaker now!

What have u done silly boy u bin playing with a chainsaw again

Did they stitch it back on? Is it all floppy now?

I severed my forearm, almost chopped it off in fact.

A rough clean and a bit of superglue and I'm back to my best.

Ouch. Did you cry?
How did you manage to sever your forearm?

Better than normal, actually.

I was changing an element on a *loads of technical babble goes here, but I'll spare you that* as I walked around to the back I caught my arm on the back panel, sliced straight in, nice. Usually this sharp edge wouldn't be there, but as I explained within the technical babble, I'd removed a cover that protects people from the electrics and evidently, the sharp edges.

Be careful dum-dum, or you won't be able to do your Dirty Dancing lift with dumette for your wedding dance.

Oh no, then I won't be able to have the time of my life.

Nobody puts Dum-Dum in a corner

Well, apart from the dunce's corner.

My tablet's broken. I am cross.

Ha, Good one!





Nasty little rassclart.

Deserve that don't you.