really well how rude are the Aussies

Aw just seen webbo and paea coming out of serendipity flower shop in brough with the biggest bouquet of roses I've ever seen big softys arnt they of course we beeped the horn so rugby players can be soppy then.

Er im def not so if thats an hint valentines day is nearly over but you can av these instead...

You on your feet yet? Because I've a feeling you'll be cooking your own tea.

He's on his feet wen he wants to be MR I got a teddy are u cooking a meal for ur other half

A teddy like that'd get me out of (or into) bed too.

Bloody perv I've got a drawer full of them

Na it's a cuddly teddy al just put em with me others

Thats where all mine stay, in the draw.



My 6 year old came home from school with a card, bless him he was really embarrassed.

Why put 'em on, to take them off? I know your sort, the sort that thinks knickers are ankle warmers and a car door is to turn the lights on.

Na if u wear Sumet like that keep it on till it's over

Ha ha bless him that's real sweet my daughter got a card from someone who as liked her for two years and a bag of jelly babies

Jelly babies are code for naughty things behind the bike sheds, If you put jelly babies in the front of your trolley in Morrisons it means you're well up for all things taboo. I'd keep an eye on them.

Jelly babies are code for naughty things behind the bike sheds, If you put jelly babies in the front of your trolley in Morrisons it means you're well up for all things taboo. I'd keep an eye on them.

Do they have them in Jail?

She's away this week - just me and 3 days accumulated pots to wash.

Really right well il be having words with this young man 12 yrs old they are wait till little eve gets to 12 it's all worry

Don't u wash as u use

Im glad you said pots, I thought you were going to say the title of a well known song by Pink for a minute



Good point ears, looks like fun time has been banged up.

Had a couple of quid on an accumulator today, (think that's what it's called). I had Chelsea to beat Birmingham, bloody Southerners let me down. I bet I get all the rest right aswell.

I saw James Webster in Asda yesterday, GS will be impressed.

What the hell he doing in there he at Wakey now my other half had the same bet going bloody Chelsea tut tut

u sure he wasn't just a Ginger imposter there's loads of em about u know

Is anyone into swinging?

I'm not, stranger danger and all that, what I want to know is the story about Pampas Grass true in that you get random people knocking on your door enquiring after a bit of slap and tickle?

Bet wharfedale's got some Pampas Grass.

My grandma used to have some in her garden

she wasn't a swinger though, well at least I don't think she was.
I knew a guy in Spain, Max Diamond, he owned a swingers club & I had a sneaky suspicion that a couple we knew from Wolverhampton used to frequent the place.

You should get some & see what happens.

You wish! Oddly, the undertakers at the end of the road have a large Pampas grass in their garden. Necrophilia, heard it was dying out.
The only caller that has been round today has been a bouncy young chap wanting to sign us up to some expensive new double glazing.

Get out.



I've also noticed young urban gentlemen have taken to tying small cuddly toys to the tow loop on their rear bumpers, can anyone explain what that's all about?

They're usually the chaps in Corsa's/Saxo's/106's.

Talking of undertakers, one near my house has what I consider to be one of the most inappropriate signs I've ever seen.

They have a sign that reads "Funerals". Fair enough, nothing wrong with that, and there wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact that it's in flashing neon.

Now maybe you [imight[/i get away with it in Las Vegas, but Pennine Yorkshire? No.