What are you accused of?

Oh dear.

If you get sent to prison just pretend your crazy like Gene thingy did in Stir Crazy. Oh & don't forget to hide your mobile up your bum, that way you can still post on here. Hope it's not a Blackberry.

Maybe Sandra could make a cake with a file in, we'll have to ask him.
Or even better, you could get a huge escape route tattooed onto your back, don't forget to take a shaving mirror so you can see it.

You can't ask that. Didn't you ever watch Porridge?

Yep, but I can't remember why that means I can't ask him what misdemeanour's he's accused of.

As for pretending to be chicken oriental, see "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" for how that works out...

put it this way ive got 15 points on my DL ive been on a speed awareness course and ive been on a considerate drivers course and im back at court so its not looking good but in my defence i am victimised ive been stopped 18 times in 2 years and i do drive a white transit van

im saving the crazy routine for later on in the year cant say no more on that

Don't you get banned after twelve?

What's a considerate drivers course and why did you have to go on it?

because im self employed taking my DL off me would cause hardship to my family your allowed to use this defence once every 5 years and the considerate drivers course is new like if your caught using your mobile the copper whos stopped you can offer you this instead of the points it costs £95 but no points and the speeding one is offered to you if your only slightly over the limit i had to take the courses because i would have been banned otherwise

Just had a little nap.
Sandra, you can't ask and that's it. End of. Glad you did though.
Fun Time, 18 times in 2 years!! Ruddy Hell. Is it all by the police or have you upset someone at Vosa?
Do Vosa actually give you points? Don't think they do, just massive fines.

i did get stopped 3 times in one day once for a van check which was ok an hour later the copper said i had an illegal tyre he changed his mind when i showed him my ticket off the police mechanic to say it was fine and then on the night just been to ferriby to see my mate and got stopped because i looked suspicious he never expanded on that having a white van is a nightmare

Dandruff in my eyebrows again, might as well get a padded cream-coloured anorak with coffee stains, some synthetic fibre half-mast trousers and cheap trainers, and then mutter to myself as I wander down the street, picking up pennies. And the weather has put the kibosh on my training - because I'd have been out there putting in the miles otherwise, def-in-ately.

So it would seem.

You're not wearing a balaclava whilst driving are you?

Who do you drive for? I know A couple of guys at DHL / Yodel or whatever it's called now.

Ah bless ya.

Shave them off & get some tattooed on.

i just work for myself the time in ferriby i was behind the allams bentley i dont think it had anything to do with it surely they havent got that much influence

People having the same little picture is idiotic.

I can't tell whose saying what.

Ditto.

That's why we he unique usernames.

Is that better? You winging old codgers.

dum-dum, can you make it bigger for me? Pretty please, love you for ever, you lovely kind man you.

I can't unfortunately, I'm working out of town.

my computer skills are very limited i dont even know how to put a picture on

I can't read, I just go off the pictures.

No worries, will try & work it out tomorrow.

Fun Time, you need to go into the User Control Panel, click on Change Profile & then on Change Avatar. You can choose one from the library or you can upload one from your PC, this is were I'm struggling.
I've copied one from the internet & uploaded it to tinypic but I can't get the dimensions right.

I think thats right, dum-dum or Grafton are the computer Gods.

How do think Ginger and myself got our avatars sorted good old Dum dum these tech guys .....

this is what i mean that mind sound and probably is very straight forward but to me i just hear blah blah to give you an idea of how useless i am i take advice off my 5 year old

Now why doesn't that surprise me