Nowt worse than an enlarged Z, I had one once but you can get a cream for it. It often leads to a dose of reality afterwards.

You could suck the joy from a toddler in an ice cream factory.

Buying my first membership for a number of years. Nothing to do with the Wembley factor, more to do with the kids flying the nest thus more disposable income.

So what you are telling us is you sold your kids to pay for a pass? 100% HKR son.

It is important that young people understand the health risks associated with eating too much of these types of foods.

Won't listen though, will they? They all want a big scoop of the triple chocolate fudge and a top four finish.

As his cub sixer, I should have suffocated him.

Harsh.

I still have my cap somewhere.

I have signed up me and Mrs Picksy for next season. Why wouldn't I? For us, it's one of the most enjoyable drives in the UK over the Wolds, past one of the best chippies around at Wetwang, to see the finest RL team in SL at a ground with the loudest home supporters who regularly provide the most passionate of atmospheres.

That said, I hope we improve the cack matchday food and drink, upgrade the game clock, limit the Hull KR dance troupe routines which always look the same irrespective of music and make me laugh and cringe in equal measure, and shelve the need to belt out, A Little Respect, at every opportunity.

Mrs P also got an email to thank her for renewing her membership from Uncle Neil H, even though it was me who paid. Obviously a ladies man.

Why does the clock need upgrading? It's a countdown timer, what more do we need?
Agree about a little respect. It's getting a bit tedious now.

I can't see the clock from the new North Stand, except when I put my glasses on back to front. Mind you, that's how I pulled the wife back in 1978.

A right ray of sunshine you are aren't you? Would you also like a cushion for your seat and a waiter to bring your drinks to you

Damn. Bloody specs. Never read that option in the blurb before I renewed the memberships. How much extra and I assume I need to move to the more sedate surroundings of the West Stand in order to qualify? Would they serve Pimms and canapés or is that only available at Ronnie Pickering bare knuckle fights nowadays?

Well I sit in the west stand. Not to watch the rugby but to see what the row in front has brought for half time refreshment. The Pyrex comes out and an aroma of differing spices among the samosa's and vol a vonts is exquisite. The sausages on sticks one week was a bit of a poor show though.

You should join us in the east stand where you can enjoy the delights of chips cooked in 6 month old fat and burgers with questionable meat content. This can all be swilled down with a bottle of what can only be described as warm, fizzy yellow water.

Chips you say. No such luxury's in the North stand

You forgot about the worlds driest hot dog buns that contain something that resembles a dog turd

That's a coincidence - someone recently told me about the time the bogs were blocked and they had to have a crap in a toilet roll tube..
You don't suppose..

That's some impressively accurate defecating.

I think we should get the forum members to write the food descriptions within the stadium. That said, you have kicked off on this brilliantly and set the 2016 catering bar at an all time high.

Portion of Chips - potato fingers cooked lovingly in 6 month old fat.
Kc Lightstream Burger - a delicate but greasy minced meat pattie of questionable meat content lovingly charred in an air filled barm.
Bottle of Carling - refreshing warm, fizzy yellow water with a urine themed hue and taste.
9.5 inch long Hot Dog - the fans favourite. A tubular turd made from minced pigs sphincter served plain in a dried out mouldy white bun.

Can't wait for the descriptions on the Pies, Pasties and Pattie Butty.

The pie fillings look like a product of the norovirus

Chicken Balti Pie - stale artery blocking pastry infused with mildly spiced and aromatic norovirus by-product.

Anyone up for the Minced Beef and Onion Pie description?

I had a Pie once.

Once.

I'd driven over from Wessie Land and hadn't had any tea, Mr. Liftshare part of The Skein wasn't there to advise against, although, he is a gormclops Vegan so all of his opinions are naturally immediately dismissed.

If I'd wanted to put Krakatoa into my mouth, I'm sure I could have dug up and lit a gas main at far less expense.

The lack of flavour was compensated by the amount of fibrous mouth roof tissues that constituted my diet for the next week.

Priceless, but how can we precis that gem into a meaningful product description? Try this.

Chicken Balti Pie - A cross between Krakatoa and an exploding gas main with creamy mouth melting Norovirus sauce. A true cultural taste sensation guaranteed to make your derriere look like the Japanese flag for at least a week.

PATTIES thats what we miss down south they do not know what one is and Yorkshire cheese cakes loverly grub