Here's my 17 away to the Wire on Sunday:

Cockayne
Dixon
Minns
Thornley
Sio
Blair
Kelly
Allgood
Lawler
Walker
Horne
Clarkson
Greenwood

Green
Tilse
Donaldson
Mulhern

Salter and Holker to miss out

Sandro II Terrorista
Mild Rover
Pickering Red
roversmad
Jake The Peg (1 month loan deal)
SirStan
R.B.A
cravenpark1
Beverley Red
Paul T HKR
sit down, Waldo
Burtons Forearm
mulder

subs
Grimsby Red
barham red
Hessle Rover
bishops finger

to miss out:

funtime Frankie
Casey Mayberry

Priceless. Don't fancy a detached retina when I streak past Des Lineham for our game winning try out wide. Can't kick, won't kick either. The Goose will have to waddle up for the touchline conversion.

I've lost all confidence in Sir Stan, he gives me a starting shirt, promises me a spot and then benches me for a bloody goose. Gutted....

We're short on big forwards yet I miss out I'm 6.4 and 18.5 stone

Plus stan do you really think roversmad is going to give much ball to his winger jake the peg

I haven't been happier since I floored Paul Dunn and Wally Lewis at Central Park 1986.

The wing-centre partnership is genius. There's more chance of him giving him vd than the ball.

There will be no bad defensive calls in that team, no passes wanged into row Z by the majestic full back and none shall pass.

Looks like some non-fed spots have become available, Mike better get on the phone that Semi / Sami guy quick

Not sure Jake will be getting many passes from his centre



Our feathered madman will simply talk the ball into going over using his superior / confusing linquistic skills

We are going for a mobile pack mate, no room for the Empire State Building.

Consider yourself out on dual reg at Loserville Lagerlouts for the season.

#Thebossisalwaysright

Its the start of a beautiful relationship mate, trust me. They will be all hugs by 4.40pm on Sunday, which happens to be Valentine's Day.

I'll get plenty of ball from kick returns so I'll be fine

Bloody hell I will have to go back in training and throw my stick away only kidding

Just like the old days I will have to take a day off work to play. After March not a problem I retire end of the month. I hope my athletic support still fits & my leather pads will need the mould washing off them. Can you still buy nail in studs?

Well I did say during the friendly at KC that even at my age (and less than perfect physical condition) that I would still be a better bet defensively than some of our players. I'll crack Sandow early and take it from there.

In other less important news, Steve Holker plays tomorrow.

Can I bring my old shoulder pads?!

I used to look like Joan Collins in "Dynasty" in mine.

Why did people stop wearing them?

Because people were looking like Joan Collins in dynasty in them

I expect us to play like Joan Collins tomorrow.I'm hearing Greenwood has pulled out after failing his head test.

That's bad news about Greenwood. Bare Bones Mk2 springs to mind behind Huddersfield.

Anyway back to real first team matters. My hernia is giving me gyp today, so best put the Empire State Building on alert in case I fail the last minute creaking bones test. A 30 minute blast of Teddy's Groove and a bacon butty should see me OK though.

Good lad Picky that's the spirit.

I've failed my headtest so thankfully am fit to play

I don't expect to make the 17 stan has it in for me I expect to be sent out on dual reg soon