your quick easty!!!

Worked it out.

I'll be dead.

Well, maybe pretend to be dead..

Eek, they're (plural innit grammar Police) coming up the stairs...

Feint imminent.

The only thing that works is coming downstairs in your pyjamas ,winding an alarm clock up.

Bally hell, you're as pickled as a mongoose. Still, it's a state Roverswall can only dream of, in his matchstick propping misery.

No one of em was playing up.
18 months and 5 months its to be expected I guess.

Time to close this particular delight.