But by definition the momentum is imparted at the point of release not when the player is hit. The 'super technology'

I refer to would continue to move the line forward at the speed the player was moving before he was hit - the hit has no relevance on the line - that would keep moving. In reality the hit has absolutely no affect on the direction of the pass in any case as it is after the release. If the ball was released after the hit then the line would be stationary like the player.

so do I. Quickly followed by not square, offside, crossing and grapple ref!

Your technology does indeed sound remarkable. I can't wait for its arrival.

I reckon you won't get it finished before my system for detecting whether a ball has been stolen or lost in the tackle, however. This ingenious system will use highly sensitive temperature sensors to ascertain how many hands were on the ball before it was lost/stolen, together with motion sensors designed to analyse data about the direction of its release, thereby deciding with 99.9% accuracy whether the ball was lost or stolen.

Needs to have some kind of fingerprint detector and also an accelerometer and GPS tracking so you know who has propelled the ball and in what direction at what speed

That was all covered under the general description of 'motion sensors'. Apart from the fingerprinting, which I will now introduce without giving you any credit or financial remuneration.

Fingerprints are unreliable, especially in wet/muddy conditions. DNA sampling is the way to go IMO.

DNA would take too long, what about retina scans?

Not with the development of instant DNA sampling technology, it won't. I don't think retina scanners on a rugby ball would be very practical since most players don't carry the ball with their eyes.

on recent performances a few FC players wouldn't be troubled by fingerprint technology either!

w@nker, that's you and bill gates on my "nicking my ideas" list

It might just manage to capture a partial print as they knock on...

I guess thats when Stevo's momentum rule comes into it?.

That fecking annoying paper clip that used to pop up on Word?

That's the one. My finest hour

Will be interesting to see how many times the Yorkshire Ripper knocks on in a game.

If it's any consolation, your invention caused me many hours of shouting 'will you just f*ck off', whilst stabbing at the keyboard in a fit of impotent rage.

you should have asked clippy how to get rid of clippy

or changed it into a cute little puppy!

Actually it is. My original name for the cheeky little fella was EXPRO but bill over ruled me

Isn't the help system in Microsoft Office one of the few things he [ihasn't[/i claimed to be?

It was until you just opened pandora's box for him

"It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like some help?"

"Er, no thanks. It's not that I'm not grateful for the offer, but I'll decline on the grounds that you're barely literate and have the linguistic style of a not-particularly-eloquent teenager."

Tell you this much, I aint ever pressing F1 again, just in case!

It's already arrived I have to admit. Available demo-only at the moment to a select few via the magenta button which is itself only available on a select number of 4D SKY remotes.

It seems the referee relies more on the position of the passers hands. I do have sympathy with the =#FF0000linesmen that I am judging from a stationary position (and I agree - not always in direct line) but the=#FF0000 linesman can be running at full speed when trying to judge.

=#FF0000Touch Judge this is not football.