A mate started his speech with

' Myself and P+++ have been through quite alot together over the last 10 years.......thankfully none of these girls have turned up today'.

I like it!

Must admit i have heard it's become quite common.

I must tell you we had the best "Batchelor- weekend" I've ever been on.We all agreed that what went on in Blackpool stays in Blackpool and I will stick to that. Except to say that I'll see you all in the Magistrates Court at 9.00 am Tuesday morning. I'll make sure I bring the Donkey with me!

The last time I was best man, I stood up, cleared my throat and clearly and loudly pronounced the word

'FORNICATION'

I glanced at my mate and his wife who were both looking daggers at me as they'd warned me to keep it clean,

i then quickly picked up my glasses, pretended to look at my speech (peice of paper) said sorry a couple of times and proceeded with

'FOR AN OCCASION SUCH AS THIS'

It brought the house down and anything i said after pailed into insignificance as my opening line is all ppl have talked about since.......lol

I remember bob mortimer been on radio a few months ago telling the story of him been the best man for his brother who was getting wed to a stornch catholic lass.He started his speech with the words"I am so happy to be here to see the two of them together again at last, her legs that is" for some reason it did not go down that well.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as expected this is an emotional occasion. If you look in the corner, you will see that even the cake is tiers".