BBC NEWS- Daughter and grandson born on same day The Castleford man was delighted at the birth of his twins.

The ultimate chatup line.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Now get in the van.

I was at the doctors the other day having a prostate examination, when he said, "Oh my God!"

"What is it Doctor?" I asked, mildly ting myself.

"You've mildly shat yourself," he replied.

Ikea.

Swedish for 'Missing Bolt'.

Pinocchio goes to the Hull KR board and asks, "Do you know how to make me a real boy? No they reply, "but we do know how to Sandercock"

Had to go to the doctors this morning suffering from an irrational fear of Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...

Arrived home to find a pretty woman grouting the bathroom wall and singing 'It's a heartache, nothin' but a fools game.' I thought to myself, she's a bonny tiler.

Referees both sides of the globe.

Drop with the elbow (report), drop with knees (naughty watch your discipline).

Kermit keeps leaving pictures of Miss Piggy naked and in saucy poses.

Bloody frog's porn!

I asked a Cas fan if he had seen Rita, Sue and Bob too. He replied " I ain't seen the first one yet"

George Clooney is playing Kevin Webster in his new film.


Its called Oh she's eleven!

Just seen Kevin Webster in the garage working on a 14 year old escort

Calories (noun) - Tiny creatures that live in your wardrobe and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Q: What's the difference between a hedgehog and that audi that keeps on undertaking me on denby dale road ?
A: The hedgehog has pricks on the outside.

I got a job as a bounty hunter in China.

Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!

England rugby team - proving 2003 was a massive fluke since 2004.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a pub and the landlord says, "Is this some kind of joke...?"

Q: How many Cas fans does it take to change a light bulb?



A: Until they get electricity in Cas we'll never know.

I don't normally trust fast food outlets for cleanliness reasons however I don't mind eating at McDonalds because of the staff there - well you'll never get a pubic hair in your big mac will you? and the chances of the manager catching something and being there next week are as likely as a fev super league licence

What do you call a Cas fan with a brain...............





............. a thief !!!!!!

pregnant?

Sting and his wife were walking to a resteraunt in silence and his wife finally snapped at him:

"Ok, you've not said a word since we left the house, you've done nothing but play with that phone of yours! What are you doing?"

"Sending out an SMS" he replied.

How does a classy cas lass turn out the light after sex?



Shut the car door

In some far off tax haven country, Sean connery is having lunch with his agent. 'sean,baby we got a real movie on our hands, why dont we go over the script tommorow, what about say.. tennish'. sean stroke his beard. 'sounds good, but i'll have to find my racket'

kevin webster sat at home watching tele. door slams up stairs and the missus is swearing, and comes in the living room. 'what av i done now he says?'. 'there saying your a paedophile on the tele' the missus says. 'paedophile eh! well thats a big word coming form an 11 year old'