The day Pat Richards was born, the only person who cried was the doctor......

Nobody slaps Pat Richards and gets away with it.

Pat Richards recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.

We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Daddy didn't take her T-bird away... Pat Richards did.

There is a little Pat Richards in everyone.

No really. Listen to your inner Pat Richards and kick yourself in the face.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Pat Richards.

Pat Richards knows the way to a mans heart, through his fist

Last weekend, Pat Richards counted to infinity........

Twice !!!

Pat Richards. Enough said.

Pat Richards once visited the Virgin islands.

These days, they're just called the islands.

Pat Richards doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

I have a feeling your getting these from the same place I am, but they still make me laugh

Pat Richards knows what Willis is talking about

....... And God said "Let there be light"

And Pat Richards said "Say please!"

Pat Richards doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Once, while having sex in a truck, part of Pat Richards' semen escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

If you can see Pat Richards, he can see you.

If you can't see Pat Richards, you may be just seconds from death.

Pat Richards can speak Braille

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Pat Richards says its beef, then it's fu**ing beef.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are actually held by Pat Richards, and that those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Pat Richards can kill two stones with one bird.

Death once had a near-Pat Richards experience.

Pat Richards is Luke Skywalker's REAL father

Pat Richards is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Pat Richards

Pat Richards CAN touch MC Hammer

If you were to ever actually open a can of whoop-ass, Pat Richards would jump out.