When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his wardrobe for Pat Richards.

if pat fell in't cut , he'd come out wi a mack on

Pat Richards doesn't make lager, but if he did...

Pat Richards make exceptional look ordinary.

I might as well add one.

As a small boy Pat Richards had a paper round, there were no survivors.

Pat Richards is so brave that he blew Chuck Norris with a fart.

If he wanted to, Pat Richards could fire Alan Sugar.

Pat Richard's manhood is so big....That when he catches a plane, it has to get the train.

Just to add a couple of my own:

Pat Richards doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Pat Richards can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Pat Richards' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

And my presonal favourite:
They once made Pat Richards toilet paper, but had to withdraw it as it didn't take sh** from anybody.

When paaaat does press ups he doesn't lift his body up he pushes the earth down



Paaaaaat makes onions cry

Neil Armstrong was actually beaten to the moon by a ball kicked by Pat

Definate man of steel.
anyhow. Pat Richard's calander goes straight from march 31st to April 2nd...nobody fools Pat Richards.

Pat Richards doesn't kick the ball, it jumps.

Pat Richards is never late - Time had better just slow the hell down.

Some kids pïss their names in the snow. Pat can pïss his name in concrete

After taking a post-match drug test, doctors informed Pat Richards that he had tested positive for Stanozolol.
He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

Pat Richards doesn't mow his lawn, he just stands outside and dares the grass to grow.

Did you know there are actually 2 things that can cut diamond?

1. Other diamonds
2. Pat Richards nipples on a cold day.


(and yes, I'm having a VERYslow day at work)

Pat Richards has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.

He won the 2003 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

LOL love it

Pat Richards is the only man ever to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis!

Pat Richards once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Pat Richards beard is believed to an aphrodisiac in China

Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Pat Richards stare will liquefy your kidneys

Pat Richards doesn't stub his toe, he accidently smashes to pieces door frames, beds and steps.

Pat richards doesn't adjust to the game, the game adjusts to pat richards
Pat richards once eat 3 72'oz steaks in an hour, he spent the other 45 mins having sex with the waitress
Pat richards can find an edge on a circle

Pat richards played russian roullete with a fully loaded gun and still won