A woman walks into the St Helens benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that
question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children
rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need
all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'

'OK, and who's next?'

'Well this one he is Terry, also.'

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the
oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri. 'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern
here. Are they ALL named Terri?'

Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come
runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just
yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had,
namin' them all Terry.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and
says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the
whole bunch?'

‘Then’ she says……….'I call them by their surnames!'

Rubbish.

I want that minute of my life back

loveeee it <3
x

It would have been funnier if it were more realistic, she would have had 20 kids called Jayden or Britney

How many does that hold?

Quote ="Catalancs"thought it was because they didn't invite you damo.'" Yeah I was invited but over the next two weeks I’m dropping all unnecessary actions in order to focus on getting a job. This will mean less facebook, less msn, less RLFANS (this will please everyone) & no producing the crap that I’ve spouted out on Youtube over the last few weeks along with not looking forward to a night out at the end of the week. Live each day as a comes looking for a job is the only way forward. Wish me luck! I even predicted my future here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRCk7u3l0NA

Quote ="Catalancs"thought it was because they didn't invite you damo.'" Yeah I was invited but over the next two weeks I’m dropping all unnecessary actions in order to focus on getting a job. This will mean less facebook, less msn, less RLFANS (this will please everyone) & no producing the crap that I’ve spouted out on Youtube over the last few weeks along with not looking forward to a night out at the end of the week. Live each day as a comes looking for a job is the only way forward. Wish me luck! I even predicted my future here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRCk7u3l0NA

Keep on playing like you are doing and your's will be empty too

And playing like you do doesn't bring the crowds in either so what's your excuse!

Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast

Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast

At least our town hasn't just spent a fortune on a statue that looks like a giant bellend

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" Lost-esque

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" Lost-esque

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" the search area stretches from Brazil to Morocco

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" the search area stretches from Brazil to Morocco

Can anyone recommend a luxury hotel in the north west region???

Which part of the region? Manchester, Chester, Liverpool...? I can think of loads.

anywhere from south cheshire to the lakes really and im looking at 4 and 5 star quality

Ok...:

Manchester:
The Hilton
The Lowry
Radisson Edwardian (prefer this place to the Lowry - that said, the Hilton is worth it for views if nothing else)
The Midland
Malmaison

Chester:
Carden Park
Chester Grosvenor (this is truly 5*)
Crabwall Manor
The Queen Hotel has apparently been done up and is also nice as well now

The Lakes has more country house hotels than I could ever list but when we got engaged we stayed at Rampsbeck House at the side of Ullswater and that was lovely.

cheers Vikci, your a star!

Quote ="[Gareth"cheers Vikci, your a star! '" I think the Lakeside and the swan are 4 stars www.lakesidehotel.co.uk/ beautiful setting www.swanhotel.com/home.cfm

Quote ="[Gareth"cheers Vikci, your a star! '" I think the Lakeside and the swan are 4 stars www.lakesidehotel.co.uk/ beautiful setting www.swanhotel.com/home.cfm

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" Wreckage found

Quote ="{Hogan}"Just horrible hearing news like this news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World- ... lian_Coast'" Wreckage found

[url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/theroyalfamily/5393626/France-admits-not-inviting-the-Queen-to-65th-D-Day-anniversary.htmlOne is not chuffed! ..Cock-up![/url

Cheese eating surrender monkeys..........

Is anyone registered on Diwana.org and can I have an invite, please? I was banking on watching origin at work but had to actually work instead

What's your email?