"Ah, Mr Goldblatt. This is Ms Reid. Oh, and we've just taken delivery of your swimming pool of salad cream"

I never got past the first page

Who could ever resist Beryl and salad cream.

Ahhhh, Friday nights at the Mississippi Showboat. Grabagranny .

Work on my upcoming biography of Granada Weathergirl Jo Blythe is already well underway.

Working title "A lovely warm front".

It was a magnificent octopus.

No forecasting of showers, miaw?

Steady On

I see the Susanna Reid preoccupation is still going well Lefty.

They were the opening lines to my 2010 opus "I'm no stalker".
My therapist has worked wonders with me, since.

I admire your taste and loyalty Mr G but as a Beeb breakfast guy, I was saddened (no not him) to see the object of your 'interest' cutting a somewhat befuddled and neutered figure next to the 'mouthpiece' that is Piers Morgan when my bedside tele lost the BBC temporarily during the recent re-tune.

Sure she's still handsome and is no doubt well rewarded for biting her tongue, but she definitely looked better in her red sofa days

That Lucy Verasamy is a bit of alright too.
Me & Mrs Nine are hoping to keep mobile by disco dancing in the living room ,aches & pains permitting.

I concur
ITV/ITN/GMB news is too lowbrow for your average Love Island contestant, so, bar Mrs G having Strictly Come Dancing on years ago, and me being in the same room (not very often), I haven't seen the fragrant Ms Reid for about a decade.

Once upon a time a guy asked his girlfriend to marry him and she said no!
And he lived happily ever after!
The end

We have Marcella Whittingdale and Georgina Burnett down here. About the only benefit of being down south.

That guy wrote poetry too. A real renaissance man.

It's getting to me.
Googling alĺ the above to find out my favourite.....
Lucy is still top with me
(God this is so politically incorrect.....)

It’s all gone a bit ‘Carry-On’

Mind you, I suppose I’ve got the time to watch the lot over the next few weeks

I just asked the wife to put on a Nurses uniform, ‘why’ she asked, ‘are you feeling horny?’

I said ‘no, we need some bread’

She has this odd "dah-dah" hand gesture way of presenting the weather which makes me wonder if shes been a magician's assistant in the past.

Amazingly enough Silver you have conjured up the thought of a wizard's sleeve.

Oh dear.

Is that some kind of metaphor?

Steady!!

If anyone gets an e-mail with the subject ding dong don't open it...its Jehovah's witnesses working from home.. I.ll get my coat

That did make me chuckle