I smashed a full chicken extra hot with chips platter last night, for the win.

When your push bike misses a gear going up hill.

- Gordon Ramsey. I'd love to stamp on his face.

- Drivers that overtake me on the motorway, pull infront of me and then brake. WTF !!! Just stay behind me in the first place !!!

- Davina McCall and her annoying gurning as she stares into the camera.

- The woman who walks her dog behind our house who collects up her dogs mess (and rightly so) into a clear bag, holds it up right infront of her face, and lovingly stares at it thinking no-one is watching. Well I'm watching you lady, and your weird ! In fact, are you the dog world's Gillian McKeith of Callands ?

- Motorway signs that flash fog warnings at you. Without them i'd never know it was foggy.

- Motorway signs that flash speed restrictions when you haven't moved more than 5 metres in the past hour. Grrrrr.

- Ainsley Harriot. A TV Chef with very little culinary skills, & has less appeal than an STD. I'd love to stamp on his face too.

- Paying a license fee to the BBC. Should be a self funded organisation. I'd happily watch adverts on the Beeb to save my contributions.

- People that say 'the books way better than the film.'........ YAWN. I don't read books, I probably never will, and I don't care if you do. Films are easier to follow and don't take up my time as much.

- Jamie Oliver. I'm struggling to think of anyone else on this planet who annoys me more than this spitting imbecile. He might as well put a big sign around his neck with the words 'please give me knighthood, I'm really desperate.' If he did we might be spared another channel 4 crusade where he trys to convince the nation our kids shouldn't eat things they like, like chips, pizza or sweets. MESSAGE FOR YOU JAMIE..... KIDS LIKE EATING THINGS THAT ARE BAD FOR THEM.... GET OVER IT !!!!

John Inverdale

Lazy ar535 (ALWAYS IN 4X4s) who leave their vehicles stradling the pavement/roadway of the John Lewis entrance to the Trafford Centre, when there's 1000's of empty spaces starting 30 yards away...

That underground car park in the town centre, it's fine apart from the people that decide to park outside of the actual parking spaces and take up the road...

This

That man = massive tool

I've always wanted to open a shop up next to one of those Jamie's Italian places and call it 'No he's not'.

Ex Liverpool players, who, after a bad defeat/run, say "that's not good enough for Liverpool Football Club"......just say Liverpool, we all know it's a football club. It's almost as annoying as people who talk about themselves in the third person...self-importance or what?

People who call me young man....I'm 42 FFS, don't patronise.

The Padgate Rose, when they wont even slightly alter their Sunday TeaTime banquet.....I don't want the sweet, it's awful, I only want a portion of noodles to compensate for not wanting the sweet, I'm not asking them to remove a limb!

People who spend half their life on Facebook, telling everyone that they're going for a bath, having soup for tea, dreading the ironing.

Work colleagues who insist in telling the whole world their business...I'm not intersted that "our 'so and so' is up in court again/ my 16 year old daughter is pregnant and she's split up with the daddy...it's like having Jeremy Kyle replayed at work

What do you expect from a 3 point game afficionado
He needs to grow a neck. He makes Gladstone Small look like a giraffe

haha fair play that is seriously odd !! I think you should secretly film her, Youtube it and post the link on here

Pardon me for being a bit thick, Yed, but what's wrong with working from right to left, or am I missing something?
I'm genuinely confused

A very good point, it makes no differance surely????

I agree with loads of these. Which surely makes them rational rather than irrational?



Chuggers get my bloody goat.

"care to donate to our charity?"

"er, yeah, here you go - here's a quid"

"Oh no, I'll need your bank details to set up a monthly direct debit - you'll get a magazine every six weeks".

WTF? Ingrates.

The beer needs to be on the right the fruit on the left and you must go Left to right in order of shopping, those supermarkets designed the 'wrong' way are the design of satan, it's like feng shui or something.

Nope, I'm still lost

Still 'piddles' me off in supermarkets, when they change the lay-out around. DRIVES ME MAD.

It's not meant to be rational Lefty

I also hate the smell of chips when i'm NOT hungry

jeans half way down the ar2e
those jeans that make you look 'bow-legged' - ffs my legs are short and bowed as it is
drivers idicating WRONGLY at roundabouts
repetitive spitting in the same place
Health & safety
Jobsworths
Tele-sales/canvassing
Chris Evans
Midgies
Anyone who buys a case of Fosters
Being headbutted by my cat constantly when she's hungry
Lazy grammar
tbc............

iphone check-ins !!!!!!!!!

Adidas re issues not been that good.and every one wearing them makes them even worse.

haha the jobsworth security guard in Morrisons, you know the one? the one who looks like Max from Max and Paddy and marches about in his captains hat, puffing his chest out in between straightening the trolleys and re-arranging the baskets so they are all level (lol ive seen him do it)

I once watched in disbelief as he made a right show of this family in there who were in the queue with a good £150+ of shopping in there but he spotted their kid open the packet of sweets they were about to pay for so he dragged them out of the queue in front of everyone and embarrased them to the point where the poor woman was in tears !!! lol id have cracked him

Complete and utter tool !!!

He once followed me around the store because my lad opened a bottle of milkshake. We went to the magazine isle whilst my wife finished off the shopping and he stood at the end of the isle staring at us for about five minutes. I walked past him and we had a bit of a staring match.

What made it worse was my lad went and spilt a load of it in the floor and he had to go and get someone to clean it up.

Not read the rest of this thread thoroughly so apologies if repeating other irritations.

Peope who use 'Pay @ Pump' petrol pumps then go and pay at the kiosk whilst I sit there with a full tank of fuel, paid for at the pump, waiting for them to get back to their car.

People who, after paying for their fuel, spend several minutes in their car farting about with receipts, loyalty cards, radios, makeup, etc. Ideally the car should be already moving before the door is closed!

Loyalty Cards.

Oldies/Disabled drivers using Parent and Child parking bays, especially when there are available disabled bays, but they're further away from the supermarket doors.

Parking in a space comfortabley big enough for two, but parking slap bang in the middle so nobody else can park there.

Somebody mentioned bag packing kids. Couple of years ago my local Morrisons had kids packing bags on Christmas Eve!

Halloween. I spend 364 days of the year telling my kids not to talk to strangers or accept sweets from people in the street but for one night of the year I'm supposed to encourage them to do it.

Cyclists ignoring traffic lights because they clearly don't apply to cyclists.

Cyclists complaining about motorists (especially after being hit by a motorist at the lights).

Teenage 'nobs' who walk down the middle of our road even when a car is waiting to get by because they are so 'ard. I really feel like testing which is 'arder - the teenage scrote or my bumper.

Doctors receptionists. Just how long do they need to go to medical school to establish if you're urgent or not by the sound of your voice over the phone. "Can give you an appointment next Thursday" - "To be honest love I was hoping I'd be feeling better by then".

To, Too and Two.

There, Their and They're.

People posting on a thread on a forum without reading everyone elses posts to see if they're just repeating what somebody else has said.

Quantitative easing. Isn't that just cheating?

'British' tennis players !

That annoying script that ASDA now have for their checkout staff, the same everytime.

"Thanks for waiting, would you like any help with your packing?"

I feel like saying No there was 1 person ahead of me so I didn't really wait and I only have a few items, I'm only here as the self service is busy.