Has Gyles Brandreth hacked your account Pumps?

Bravo!

There is no "I" in "TEAM" and it's a team competition. I liken you to Lionel Messi if he played for Crewe Alexandra.

You might consider telling your shrinking violet team-mates that you know where they live ...

He has a fair trek if he want to come and sort me out!

Maybe he can just get Roger twice and that will do?

Wow

Yeah I know, but I honestly think Villa can keep West Ham to 2.

Saturday 26th December 2015
SOFTCOCK PREMIER LEAGUE
Stoke v Man Utd H 2:1 - (for a bonus point, Van gaal sacked, Mourinho appointed.)
Aston Villa v West Ham H 2:1
Bournemouth v Crystal Palace D 0:0
Chelsea v Watford H 4:0
Liverpool v Leicester H 2:1
Man City v Sunderland H 2:0
Swansea v West Brom D 2:2
Tottenham v Norwich H 2:0
Newcastle v Everton D 1:1
Southampton v Arsenal A 0:2

My predictions for round 2. Got them in just before the deadline luckily.

The scores are in for the girlieball round.

Congratulations to debaser for an all-correct round, brilliant stuff. I have unfortunately had to disqualify the entry, since although debaser sent his entry in in time on his planet, sadly due to (I presume) time dilation and wormholes, it didn't land on the RLFannies server until Sunday. Harsh I know, but sometimes I have to be.

Scores achieved, and RAB Factor points awarded:

Fr13daY 47___________6 points
Highlander 44___________ 5 pts
thepimp007 36___________ 4 pts
Pumpetypump 32___________ 3 pts
mystic eddie 29___________ 2 pts
broadybull87 18___________ 1 pt

Bonus points for Team Spectre for number of entrants, leaving the standings at the end of round 2 as follows:

1st Team Spectre - 31
2nd Team Star Wars - 14
3rd Team Mars - 8



Don't forget the deadline is looming for entrants for Round 3, which is developing into a sizzling battle. Literary genius. Who knew?

What!!!! It's an outrage. I can't be held responsible for technical failure. I forgot what a complete fix this game is. That's two years in a row that I have been shafted.

BTW, where is tigertot? Skiving tw*t.

I spent ages typing in my entry for the next round, then went to check the meaning of floccinaucinihilipilification and by the time I got back on, the writing was gone. That is a genuine excuse. I can't be bothered typing it in again.
Needless to say, it was amazing.

And seeing as I was robbed on the last round I should have some points on this one.

Especially seeing as tigertot, my so called team mate is about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

And by the way, Ferocious aardvark is a very lovely man.

I'm back, been in the Lakes for a week without access to a PC but access to plenty of water. Currently trying to track down my 87 year old Mum lost somewhere between Romania & Luton.

Which lakes?

I've been on dry land for a week is a more specific address than "the lakes"....

Them big ponds in Cumbria.
Mum located in a taxi north of Luton.

Ah, yes - good to hear your mum has found a job with the taxis, best she hangs on to it as they're not too easy to find these days. A Mum with 'the knowledge'! I'm impressed!

I demand a drugs test.

Right, your papers have been returned from marking by Salman Rushdie and the following scores have been awarded:

Fr13daY - "A minor masterpiece of brevity, though more care in matching vocabulary with context would improve"

thepimp007 - "Excellent work, a subtle understated opening, and a neat barrage of hits on key words at the end. Spoiled only by imagery that I didn't want in my head"

Pumpetypump - "But here, the art of literature elevated to a different plane. Lyrical, exhilarating and masterful as it weaves from pun to twist, sprinkl'd with additional turns of phrase simply for adornment, I wish I would have wrote this mesen"

debaser - "Almost a total failure, but I have awarded something for the perspicacious beginning "tigertot? Skiving tw*t." Rare insight needs to be rewarded. If modestly."

So, at the end of round 3, the totals are as follows, and as per comp rules, these have been halved, and the leaderboard is thus:

1. TEAM SPECTRE: 22.5
2. TEAM STAR WARS: 12.5
3. TEAM MARS (where they might as well be): 4

RAB FACTOR 2015 - ROUND 4 (SEMI-FINAL)

I did you a picture quiz. All you have to do is what RL person or RL place is in each of the 20 pictorial clues.

Could it be any easier?

This is a TEAM effort and so what I want from each team is a single list from 1-20 with your final answers. So it will need some form of communication between you and your massive. Which seems to have been sadly lacking in certain quarters to date but I blame the captains, easily the most feckless and ineffective in the competition's history. They need to get a grip and produce their rods of iron.

Of course, if you are stupid, you will post your answers and then people will copy them. If you do that is your own stupid fault. Especially if you get any good ones. What I need is the Captain of each team to message me with your final list of answers by the deadline, which is 21:00 on Sunday 3rd January 2016.

How comes our score is not amended for the non submission by Roger? Bloody fix this.

See rule 37(2)(b)

I cannot be d TBH.

You mean, "I am way too busy conferring with my team-mates as we strive to win the picture quiz round".

For future reference, who are my teammates and who is the captain?

Thank you and a Happy New Year.

This competition is clearly set at the same level as the new 'Sherlock' on BBC1, does anyone really know what is gong on?

I don't know.

Some people could be forgiven for reading the rules and the team lists, which clearly set all these things out, but that's a bit naive, I know, given that there exists an infinite number of parallel universes, then I suppose in one of them, all of you are captains, and everyone is your teammate somewhere. Indeed, whatever the outocme of the comp here, each team will be the winner somewhere. So that is good to know.

But in a valiant effort to keep some order I am sticking with those published

Right, I'm going to have a bash at Q4. I'll send a draft to FA & a copy to Captain Debaser who can compile the final submission.