Tried ringing the Swine flu helpline last night, but all i could hear was Crackling!!

Bored on your way to work on the train or bus, Pretend your on the phone and talk about your 4 week tour of mexico, Then hang up and sneeze!!

I've just got back from a holiday in Mexico. Upon my return home I found a note from my wife saying that her and the kids have moved into her parents for a month and a message from my work telling me not to come in until further notice.

The ironic thing is, I won that holiday in a Carlsberg competition.

Boom boom

Thomas Cook rang me this morning to tell me that id one a months all-inclusive stay in Cancun, but ive had to decline. I tell you im pigs sick about it.

Sickipedia gets boring with the latest news jokes. E.g - Jade Goody, Swine Flu etc.

The first ones are funny, but then, they just get worst.

The AA and RAC have had lots of calls from blondes that have run out of fuel because they are so scared about this swine fever that they dare not got to the filling station...


Apparently they are confusing Mexico with Texaco..


coat on again

Anyone fancy a facemask for Murrayfield........... viewtopic.php?t=408209

Anyone fancy a facemask for Murrayfield........... viewtopic.php?t=408209

im ting myself

damos already begun arranging his funeral.

Yup.

The only funny thing is the really thick people who think they're the first person ever to say "oinkment" to you, they laugh at their own joke and you stare at them as if waiting for a punchline, so they say it again and then ask you if you "get it", you say "yes" but don't laugh so they do that funny little shuffle that embarassed people do.

Step forward Craigloiner.

Unfair

66 year old male from this country died last night.

suspected cause is swine flu.

Another one smoked..I guess they aint found a 'cure' yet then ?

i know its sperding

It's what-ing ?
I'm wondering how many of these cases are just 'normal flu ' and how many are actually the swine strain .

So who has received there free Swine Flu leaflet through the post every house in the country is to get one.

I got mine 3 weeks ago. Bandwagon jumper.

it'll be back for a stronger wave in the winter, which will likely be deadly.

viruses like this tend to be most deadly in 20-40 year olds due to their stronger immune system.

Whats it like across Europe?

It's not going to spoil anyones holidays is it? Is it safe to travel and what-not?

Oh spawn of Dally, I'll rise to the bait.

You're saying that a virus is more lethal to the people who are most protected from it ?

Is everything in your world inverted ?

No. He's just a real life clown.

They've even stuck posters up around my uni halls, it's getting beyond a joke!

No what is a joke is the fact that exam boards are considering letting those who go to schools closed due to the swine flu get their expected grades for GCSEs and A Levels without sitting the exams.

If there school can't be used for whatever reason send them elsewhere to do them - a sports centre, another school I am sure there are plenty of possible locations that could be used!

How many people in Britain right now have got bog standard flu?

That's just as bad, and life doesn't come to a halt for that.