...and YOU're just a very sad pathetic individual with no hope at all

I'd go with four points for a try, two points for a goal (penalty or conversion) and one point for a drop goal.

I'd file this comment under the 'if it's not broke don't fix it' heading.

You should know when you regurgitate/modify a Clarkeism it's almost guaranteed to be borderline bonkers.

Wasn't his version 'less points for a try from a kick?' and 'more points if the ball passes through four pair of hands?'