Thieves have raided the Knowsley Road trophy room.
Police are looking for someone with a red and white carpet.

and an old classic, this time pointing to the other end of the M62

Whats the difference between a walrus and a woman from Hull?
One has a moustache and smells of fish, the other is a large sea mammal.

What's the difference between a cow and a tragedy?

Scousers don't know how to milk a cow.

You see, I was always under the impression that jokes were supposed to be funny.

Does anyone know of a joke that will make me smile ?

I'm not asking for much, just a smile will do.

Man rings up take-away:

"Alright mate, do you deliver?"

"No mate, we do lamb, chicken or fish."

You need to try harder than that.