Going Academy tonight. Had my arm twisted didn't I?

No idea lad, don't use them myself. It's got a sweet visualiser on the ceiling above the dancefloor though.

That's true you took me to "The Vine" once, Never again...

Best night of mine recently was when I bumped into Bang in the bushes outside Drydock.

I could say we kissed, but that would excite too many minds on here.

True Story.

I once did stand up set in there


that really is a true story

You seem to be hinting that mine isn't true Loz!

im not going to lie to you


i think you aint telling the full story are you lad?

The full story would be too graphic for a family messageboard.

It is true however that we bumped into each other in the bushes outside the Dock.

Strange times.

I actually can't remember why I was in there! It was your birthday that night. Your twennyfurst. I can't remember much else.

Loz, you're as funny as contracting Swine Flu!

In the vine he would be a comedy legend there all hammered at 11 a.m

Why doesn't the Academy just invest in a few bloody bottle bins?

I couldn't bloody move last night.

Cos it's scum.

Aye. Not wrong there. Glad I never pay to get in there.

Those carpets drain my battery summat rotten too.

Is it that bad already? I thought they'd have at least cleaned the carpets weekly. If I ran the place I'd just grab all the hobos in the city and tell them that theres gallons of booze soaked in the carpets. They'd suck it clean within the hour.

I had to swap my wheels with a tramp before they even let me in.

Was it busy busy ten foot willy then, Si?

Wasn't it a beach party? Did anyone actually go in beach gear though? Or was it just a set of crazy first years that did because they're crazy cos they're away from home and doing lots of crazy sheeeeeyt.

Nail on head.

Easy like a sunday morning though...

One of the lads at work went in a few weeks ago to see the killers, £3.50 a pint of pishwasser which some weirdo kept banging into him to knock it out of his hand. He left after 2 songs.

His first gig I take it? Pansy.

Not his first no, although he is a pansy. He just thought the place was a dive, crap and over priced but hey ho.

It cant be cat p!ss mikey then he should be used to the smell

The Killers? At the Academy?

I hate Academy, I'm actually pleased I'm not allowed in there on Wednesdays now.

Who can blame them. You're the crazy first year that's away from home acting all crazy y'all that me and Wheels were talking about.