My niece (aged 6), just ran into my office saying she'd brought me "a really big cake for being a good uncle." Then shouted "April Fool!".

Apparently, she really wanted to trick someone (she's at that age now!) so my sister came up with something "harmless".

Harmless she says. Harmless. Since when has the promise of cake, without delivery of said cake been harmless?

Cruel, very cruel.

You could laugh off a shout of "FIRE! FIRE!" even if there was a real fire, but "CAKE! CAKE!" is just cruel, I'd be ringing social services if I were you, her parents have something to answer for.

Not cake but sweet awesomeness...

Vanilla Ice Cream, crumbled digestive biscuits and covered in my homemade hot choc sauce...

It is up there with cake for sure!!

Our monthly service dept visit to Big Wok in Birmingham (all you can eat for £10, its a challenge not an invitation) was interrupted one evening last year when we noticed the chocolate fountain was missing.

The Mr Whippy ice cream machine was still there and the slices of various cakes still there - but NO CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN



I asked the waiter where it was, "Health and safety" was all he said, "I'll risk it" I said, "Wheel it back out here" but no, they wouldn't do it, Health and Safety had banned them from using a chocolate fountain.

Or maybe it was the fact that we nearly emptied it when we were in there the month before.

Health and safety?! What do they think is going to happen? The fountain might grow teeth and bite the hand off the poor unsuspecting person? It might grow legs and chase you round the restaurant?

I'm qualified in H&S (not through choice, I thought it was easier than paying somebody having 100 staff!), and I can tell you that officially, and by officially I mean this is the actual and official officially official wording on all official Health & Safety officially official documents...

Health & Safety is complete and utter bo[ill[/iocks.

It was definitely because you emptied it the month before, and to avoid a riot they went with the tried & trusted "Blame H&S" method.

Well, it started off well with tempting mentions of Victoria Sponge and suchlike but then the thread plummeted downhill fast into the realms of Yum Yums and doughnuts (this by people I used to respect, too).
Damo, bless him, tried to raise the standards somewhat by a fleeting mention of Patisserie Valerie (an establishment that I used to occasionally visit in Old Compton Street when I lived in that London ... but at their prices, not too often, I mean you can take the lad out of Yorkshire but .. etc) and McF redeemed himself a little with his mention of Betty's but then slipped back into a regrettable doughnut reverie.

So, I would like to draw the jury's attention back to cake, not doughnuts, not shopping-mall muffins, not just sugar held together with fat, but to gee-noo-yne cake.

The cake in question is a Ginger cake from Botham's of Whitby.
Not to be confused with parkin (wonderful though that particular comestible is to a Yorkshireman), no, this is a not-as-sticky-as-parkin, slightly drier version.
Indeed, it is perfect when spread with decent butter (just to up the waistline co-efficient) and served with a nice fresh cup of tea.

Anyone around here partaken of this delight?
I bought it at Booth's in Clitheroe.

Never mind.
With the money you saved you could buy yourself a nice pre-curved T-shirt with a dimple where the navel sits and a glamorous glimpse of belly below the hem.
I have a large collection of them.

I concur.

Can I just remind people of rule number 3...



Thanks El Barbudo, we had strayed a bit.

Fno proflem.
I'm juft haffin a nife peef of finfer cake righ' now wiff a cuff of tea.

Wuffwy it iff too.

There are cwumfs aw over the fuffin keyfoard now.

Home made Victoria Sponge with my cuppa. Winner!

Cake and a cuppa, an excellent partnership. Similar to fish and chips with a can of D&B. But enouth of that it isnt CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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:20v6swct=#FF4000:20v6swctThe Official Cake (& occasionally Biscuit) Thread:20v6swct


Priorities boys. Priorities.

Well I have got my cuppa and a choice of two cakes, (I cant have both because when the wife gets home and she hasnt got any i will be wearing my bol!ox for a neck tie.)

What shall I have

1) Carrott cake or
2) Medira cake

went for medira cake

Madeira Cake every time!!

Agreed! carrott cake just seems too healthy for you!!!! its got carrotts in it!

there lies the reason i will never touch carrot cake. good choice on the madeira.

Agree it goes against the whole ethos o eating cake having something thats good for you in it.

However if there is nothing else its still cake

Each slice of carrot cake deliberately contains around eight pounds of sugar in a deliberate attempt to nullify any health benefits of eating carrots.

I suppose they have to otherwise it would become a health food, and surely not allowed in "BETTYS GYM"

I fancy some parkin now, may have to make some

I do love parkin, but never made any myself

Rarely have it myself.


It's the Mrs. that's responsible for all the cakes in our house... and she's c[ir[/iap at Parkin'.




I thank you, I'm here all week!

You should get yourself on the comedy circut