Where i work we are having constant bother from a group of "travellers" does anybody know the quickest legal way to get them moved on? Please no "molotov" cocktail suggestions. Im thinking environmental health as the police are frankly un-intrested and things are rapidly going downhill.

Bother your local ward councillor, it is the council that will need to take action, bothering your councillor is the best way to get officers to 'jump'.

I shall pull up a chair.

Indeed some people are bound to make derogatory remarks about travellers.

Try asking them to move on politely – they are usually very amicable people and will often move on without any bother.

Either that or try a voodoo curse – pikies are harder to get rid of than syphilis.

Good luck

Throw a bar of soap at em

And already it begins.

Quicker than I thought...

Season of good will to all men - pah...

You should buy some lucky Heather of a local traveller the next time you see one.

I also need to get rid of a fridge and a washing machine

The last socially acceptable form of racism - paraphrasing the CRE.

Do you work in Morley? I saw some burnt out caravans outside an office there yesterday.

Looked like they were moving on. There were also two young lads trying to control a pony that had been startled and was running down the road.

The method to stop a run away pony appears to be to jump on its back while your mate has hold of its neck.

Got any better ideas? Give it a phone so it can call the horse version of Childline and talk its issues through with a trained counsellor?