A bloke is in the Super Market queue when he notices a
rather dishy
blonde across from him raise her hand and smile hello.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving
to him,
and although familiar he can't place where he might know
her from, so he
says
"Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be
the father of
one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been
unfaithful, "Christ!" he says "are you that stripper on my
stag
night that I shgged on the pool table in front of all my
mates
whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck
a
cucumber up my a*se?"
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"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"
3 men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China. He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Italy. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.
By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a Yorkshire Lass.
He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
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