You don't, you eat the chicken to save all the fooking around making a spit.

As I said previously, with so much being digitised, it shouldn't be difficult to work out how much housing benefit and working tax credits have been paid to employees. It should then be a simple matter to present the delinquent employers with an annual bill to repay the exchequer. If they can hound individual claimants for the return of overpaid benefits, it's surely not beyond the wit of man to do the same to employers.

By the way, if any of our Harry Enfield Tory-boy stylee users and their yapping pups want to debate this issue with me then please feel free to do so, I have a wife who works in the hotel industry and have more than enough experience of how this type of business works with the vast majority of its staff (I am not exaggerating when I quoted 90%), and of how the business model of a 50 bedroom spa hotel with wedding facilities works with particular emphasis of shift scheduling - or in practice the lack of such an ability in such an industry - I can tell you of Poles and Hungarians who are housed at the hotel (with the necessary deductions from their NMW pay packets) who are trapped in the job with very little disposable income left, one example being of a cleaner who had to save ALL YEAR to purchase a budget airline ticket of around £50 to return to live back at her mothers house, when you struggle to save £1 a week then you know you are living on subsistence wages and thank god they are allowed to eat in the hotel kitchen from what is left over from that evenings service.

Again its not the NMW that is the problem but the variance and sometimes complete lack of hours.

When did all this start?

I worked in a major hotel in Hull for two years in the early 70s and apart from being requested to cover the odd extra shift in an emergency, everyone (from the hotel manager to the lowliest KP) knew what their hours were and what shifts they'd be working.

Even in the 90s and 00s, when I would regularly stay in hotels, I usually saw the same staff on the same evenings, whether that was in the bar, restaurant or reception.

Its been going on for at least five years that I know of and most hotels operate this way to stay "competitive", my wife had her provisional shifts for next week based on the confirmed bookings, like a lot of staff she has a 20 hour/week contract but those 20 hours are not guaranteed, just a target for management to consider, she could easily be offered less, this week has been quiet so she's done 19 hours, in busy weeks she can do 45 or 50.

Its a hotel that offers wedding facilities so through the summer they often have four days a week when its all hands on deck, currently the weeks before christmas is when the business bookings fall and the "vacation" bookings don't pick up the slack until christmas week when its all hands on deck again - then they hit Jan-Mar where it dies a death so they sell Groupon deals which seem to attract the sort of people you wouldn't want to sit next to on a bus, the ones who b1tch and whine about everything even when they are getting it at half price but at least it can boost her hours again.

Next week is going to be quiet again but I've known her to plan things to do on days off and be called in the night before, I've also booked days off for myself to coincide with hers to then have her called in - most of the staff use their paid holiday days to pad out the quiet weeks which is what she is doing for next week but the end result of doing this is that this year and last we have managed to take one week off together each year.

Not that I'm complaining mind.

Talking of the hospitality industry, it seems that the Victoria Hotel in Oldham needs people to undertake "traineeships" for six weeks. They also describe them as "Work Experience" [sic.

Oh. And all the positions are unpaid.

[url=https://apprenticeshipvacancymatchingservice.lsc.gov.uk/Navms/Forms/Vacancy/VacancyDetails.aspx?Query=GXRI2jwI%2fCX4C%2fJ%2flxWPylItj52FdIvW7sJGKxsPJlK6D%2fxdmuHqdUPoUYRxj3vZYF3kRaC6Bn%2b%2bTaQ6Al8sK2KaZ4IN49meYknhtQ2%2fML7naYBff34R4GZL3GUdqBK6wrwmHLvRfCx6FKZ2eN1D0I943%2bFMRF3A3dXZsyHS6PJhueOhTqzP0WNW1sBFXMWeekntceI7Bhj6jTmg6Xz%2fOEytSZkgSYbV%2bJ4xCfHE4U84FKEmeqf6f5%2b0NPjdRmeehcumziUnmPsw3RToa1WL7A%3d%3dAdvert[/url

To be perfectly honest, and reading the details of this specific training course, or introduction to a training course, its not quite as bad as it seems and certainly no worse than if the 16-18 year olds had gone to college for which they also would not be paid.

They are advertising for youngsters who have not achieved a minimum academic level within the education system, paying travel expenses, providing a uniform and a set of chef's knives, then an introduction to a working environment and a food safety certificate as a minimum result.

In an ideal world the kids would be paid their NMW rate but to be very honest, if this is a course that is properly structured, properly tutored, and is based on a solid college itinerary then its not that exploitative - the exploitation will come when they are fully waged within the kitchen in a hotel and working under a chef who thinks Gordan Ramsey was a real person and not just a sweary cartoon figure put on for the camera.

Interestingly, the advert says: "Are you aged 16-18 and qualified below Level 3 (A level) or 19 to 23 and not yet achieved a Level 2 (5 GCSE’s at grade C including Maths and English)?"

So not actually the lowest level of academic achievement at all. I would have thought that it was entirely possible to be 18 and have no A levels but still have, say, the five GCSEs.

Mind, since they're on about qualifications, they could do with learning what a proper bleedin' noun is.

Erm, Ramsey is the same if not worse in a kitchen mate.

Really ?
I've heard that its a put-on job for the camera, especially those series in America.

Yes really, he learnt all he knows in that department from Marco.

Well yes his reputation goes before him although he cleaned his act up for the Hells Kitchen series, that sort of management just wouldn't last one shift in any other sort of environment.

Anyone who throws that ponce AA Gill out of his restaurant is all right in my book



To be honest there was only a few around who could get away with it at the time, Gary Rhodes and Guy Savoy were others who were temperamental t**ts, they would find it hard to get away with it now, the papers would be all over you.

Fair enough reason for boycotting the place, I never knew about any of that so you've just given me another reason not to go there again. I always try to give my money to the local business whenever possible anyway.

I've not actually eaten from Dominos in donkey's years anyway. I refused to go again because I find their pizzas to be cheap, stodgy and generally flavourless. The same goes for McDonalds, Burger Ming and all the other obvious places.

If I could get a ferg burger I wouldn't bothering with that cheap either!

Kitchens are very hot pressured environments - even more so at the very top end. One bad review can have a catastrophic impact. You think the language and behaviour of Ramsey et al is any different from the majority of professional sporting coaches, especially when things are not going quite according to plan?

Many kitchens in high-end restaurants are now open – not so easy to get away with the screaming, ranting raving approach and they seem to manage without it.

And that's without people such as Raymond Blanc working actively against it.

He's a nasty piece of work.

When ah wor nobbut a lad we had a kid in our class who was interested in a career in catering, got himself a Saturday job in the kitchens at The Post House in Bramhope, this would be '72 or '73, he lasted a few weeks before quitting as the chefs, sous chefs, in fact anyone in the kitchens at all made his life hell and he noted, anyone else below the level of chef's life hell too.

So 'twas ever thus but you have to stop and wonder why, outside of the Army and Catering, this sort of abusive bullying behavior would result in a disciplinary or dismissals for anyone else in any other profession - do your printers act this way with your apprentices ?

Graham - I mentioned another profession professional sport where this behaviour is considered normal. Sadly we don't have any apprentices, no one is interested in building a career in an industry with no future.

However if a job is screwed up I can assure the discussions are far from controlled and conducted in the queens english - they get heated and the language would do Bernard Manning proud. I have worked in a number of PLC's where this would be considered acceptable.

You attended a few of his performances have you?

I had a Southern Swine from Ferg at the weekend actually. They forgot the avocado but I'll let it slip this once, they are almost always delicious!

I had a Southern Swine from Ferg at the weekend actually. They forgot the avocado but I'll let it slip this once, they are almost always delicious!

Had a Dominos yesterday, enjoyed it.

Not recently!! but I have seen him live, I have also Ben Elton, Roy Brown, Stuart Francis, Joe Brand, Mark Lamar, Rhona Cameron, Jasper Carrot, Bob Monkhouse, Two Ronnies, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Williams, Harry Enfield.

It is about opening your mind not allowing your preconceived thoughts stop you experiencing what is out there.