Correct. And you echo quite a bit of my thoughts on the matter. Another thing he's bugged me with is complaining about how much of a mess the sap makes on his cars when they have 3 and a garage they don't use to house any of them. When I pointed out the invention of the car cover, his response was 'Why should I have to buy one of those?'

Torch his car, you'll be alleviating his concern.

Tell him your tree is suffering as a result of his polluting vehicles. I assume your tree is used by birds? Point these things out. Post a copy of Lovelock's Revenge of Gaia through his letterbox and tell him to stuff his cars where the sun doesn't shine!

He sounds like a bit of a numb-nuts anyway, just tell him your birch tree is an aspirin tree, you're growing it for medicinal reasons and after the predicted great aspirin shortage of 2014 if he needs a hangover cure then he'll have to ask you nicely before you hand over some bark tea.

When he looks totally baffled, show him this article ... [urlhttp://www.homeremedycentral.com/en/herbal-remedies/herb/white-birch-bark.html[/url

Murder him, pull his teeth out, feed him to the pigs, hope whoever he left his house to in the will is a tree hugger.