10. After sneaking past Wigan with a late, late show for their first win of the campaign, Brian Noble asks if every team they play has to have four injured players for the last 15 minutes.|
9. With the RFU reportedly circling menacingly round Lesley Vainikolo, Bradford bleat and whinge to the powers that be to give them salary cap dispensation to keep the big feller in League.
8. On seeing Huddersfield attract a five figure crowd for the first time in ages and worried that they might be knocked into third place on the average crowd ladder, the Odsal club ask West Yorkshire police to close all of the Galpharm Stadium apart from that bit behind the dugouts.
7. Recognising that all other clubs get vocal backing from the home fans that gives players a mental lift at key moments, Bradford table a plan to ensure all supporters remain silent until prompted by an annoying git with a microphone and Queen's We Will Rock You, as per current policy at Odsal.
6. Now that sides seem to have learned to cope with Noble's perceived 'power game', the coaching staff hatch a plan to alter the game of Rugby League to only allow play in one dimension.
5. Worried that their sluggish start to the season could affect their title ambitions, Chris Caisley pleads with Richard Lewis to have the first two rounds of the season declared as practice games.
4. Reluctant to dig up the Odsal turf, the old racing track and re-lay a full size pitch, the Bulls beg the authorities to redefine pitch dimensions as 88 metres maximum length and 48 metres maximum width.
3. Lesley Vainikolo expresses a concern that he may not hang onto his top try scorer crown, so approaches the RFL with a plan to ban Mark Calderwood from crossing any white lines.
2. Worried about plans to upgrade a number of stadiums will leave them alone with the worst ground, the Bulls ask Super League to force Leigh and Wakefield to keep their ramshackle homes as they are.
1. Concerned that they have a better side than everyone else, which could be construed as unfair, Bradford ask the RFL to bar Leeds from winning trophies.