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You Reap What You Sow
Posted by southstander on May 10 2007 - 08:35:17

by McLaren_Field

"So if you sign here Mr Lockear", the solicitor indicated the space at the foot of the contract for the Australian to add his signature, "that should see us done".

"Welcome to Odlas Darren", the chairmanís smile lit up the room as he reached out his hand to shake on the deal, "Here's to five happy years and lots of trophies eh lad?"

And after they had congratulated each other profusely, the chairman for attracting the top Aussie in the game to his team and the aussie for attracting the sort of salary that would make a Canary Wharf commodity brokers eyes green with envy, the Australian was gently guided outside the room by the solicitor and asked to wait in the reception while some other business was conducted.

"Is it Mr Mason?" the solicitor asked of the large chap in the corner, "could you follow me to the boardroom please?"

Read more here....


At 9pm the meeting of the RFL rules and regulations committee was ready to ajourn to the drawing room for brandy and cigars when one of its members pulled a copy email from a file.

"Just one more item gentlemen", he explained, "No need to minute this thank you Janet, you can go for the bus now if you want"

"Itís another rather unusual request gentlemen, from the Sadford Dulls - again", and a murmur of discontent rumbled around the table, these "off the record" rules clarification requests from the Dulls were becoming ever-present at these monthly meetings now.

"This time Mr Good is presenting to us what he calls a hypothetical situation, the question is, what would the panel think if a hypothetical club, in a hypothetical game, suffered so many hypothetical injuries that they hypothetically had to field a member of the backroom staff just to keep up the numbers on the field, Mr Good is asking, hypothetically, if we would object to, say, this hypothetical team fielding a cleaner, hypothetically of course".

Mutterings of "Bloody idiot", and "Waste of time" and "Do we have any Cubans in the humidor this week" spread around the table - the Sadford chairman was not a popular bunny at RFL headquarters after prolonging each of the last seven meetings with his stupid hypothetical questions.

"Just bloody tell him no, we wouldnít object, you know what heís like, if you tell him yes we object heíll moan like buggery again"

"Weíve got some Havanaís if theyíll do?"


"I donít know, it looks serious Slevo" the bewigged commentator explained to his portly partner as the third Sadford Dulls player in five minutes received treatment on the field of play.

"You never let this rugby league ball bounce" Slevo explained

"This just adds to their long injury list, the bench is empty now"

"Heís put his body on the line this time", look at the claret and weíre only in the first stanza, the merry whistle blower has to get a grip on this game, that guys in Disneyland"

"Thereís another sub warming up Slevo, Parkey on the touchline tells me itís the Dulls team bus driver, if I didnít know better Iíd say it was Darren Lockear, but surely not?"

"Iíll put my house on it"


"Order, order gentlemen, order please", the rules and regulations chairman struggled to calm the enraged throng of committeemen, "order please"

"Itís a disgrace"
"Brings the game into disrepute"
"How dare they"
"Bare faced cheek"
"Thatís not what we meant at all"
"Taking advantage of the rules"
"Bloody nerve of the man"
"How long has Darren Lockyer driven their bus"
"Never mind Lockyer, how long has Billie Mason been a Filing Clerk?"
"Something needs to be done"

"I have an idea gentlemen" the chairman ponders for a while, rubbing his chin, "two can play at this game".


"Penalty Steve" the radio earpiece crackles into life

"Christ Ash, lets be a bit more subtle than that", hand over TV mic, the referee talks back

"No time left Steve, thisíll be the last kick"

"One more play, lets give them one more play, this is 40 metres out mate"

"You know what we were told Steve, thereís no more time left for a penalty try, weíll have to call this one and hope he kicks it"

"Jesus I hope youíre right, weíre in deep shit anyway you and me, they were supposed to win this one not draw it"

"Maybe itíll hit the crossbar and their winger can score from the loose ball"

"You crease me up sometimes Ash - PENALTY"



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