Following their second defeat of the season, Bradford coach Brian Noble speaks out to quell rumours of unrest at Odsal. 'Fat Taffy Moneybags looks sharp after a proper off-season', said the GB coach, 'and The Bloke Who Lost Us the Grand Final is going well at hooker. Combine that with the lads we tried to offload to Wakefield in the close season, and as you can tell things couldnâ€™t be better in terms of team spirit'.
St Helens become the latest club to admit to making an offer to Kiwi wonder-kid Sonny Bill Williams. The Knowsley Road club were believed to be stunned by forecasts that they would return a profit for the year just passed, and felt they had to move swiftly to increase their expenditure and prevent a recurrence.
Wigan confirm the signing of French international Jerome Guisset from rugby union. The player himself is said to be ecstatic. 'I feared I had been left on the rugby league scrapheap', said Guisset, 'and was waiting for the call from Canberra or Widnes when I was contacted by Wigan. I hope to win many trophies at this great club. They do still win everything, donâ€™t they?' At this point, Maurice Lindsay moved quickly to bring the press conference to an end.
Bradford Bulls announce that their Maundy Thursday clash with local rivals Leeds Rhinos at Odsal will be an all-ticket affair. Next up for the Bulls press office is rumoured to be the surprise revelation that Sunday actually follows Saturday, and that milk will go sour if left out of the fridge.
Wigan coach Dennis Betts refuses to blame injuries picked up during the game for tonightâ€™s late defeat to Bradford Bulls. 'It wouldnâ€™t be fair to talk about the injuries handicapping us', said Betts. 'After all, Bradford managed to play a large part of the game with both Brad Meyers and Karl Pratt on the field and it didnâ€™t stop them picking up the two points'.
Residents of the Wigan area are queuing through the night for theatre tickets, following the news that Warriors Chairman Maurice Lindsay is to play Pinocchio in the townâ€™s pantomime next year. Itâ€™s believed the producers got the idea after seeing the size of his nose following his comment in the press that 'money has never been a problem for the Wigan club'. No confirmation has been given yet on whether Dave Whelan will take the role of Giopetto the puppet-maker.
Substantial damage was caused to properties today around the Griffin Park area of Brentford by a mystery shockwave. The wave blew out windows and caused structural damage to houses within a five-mile radius, leaving a trail of devastation in its wake. One eyewitness described the wave as being preceded by a 'massive pop, something similar to an enormous bubble being burst'.
More next week...