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Rocky (Turner) MCMLXX - An Ordinary Bloke Pt. 8
Posted by southstander on January 05 2007 - 11:24:40

By McLaren_Field

In the eighth part of our new series for the long winter months we bring you McLaren_Field's 1970's Diaries.

Its the story of an ordinary bloke, living an ordinary life, in an ordinary street, and his love for his rugby league club, in other words he's just like you and me. Set during the second half of the winter season of 1969/70 it follows his devotion to the Leeds RLFC through the league title games, a challenge cup run and a championship final appearance. Characters and matchday reports are fictional but the fixtures, results and player names are real enough, as are some of the more unsavoury elements of the period.

You may find parts of this story distasteful, but it's told realistically for the time.

Enjoy.

Its a short walk up St Michaels Lane to The Original Oak and they gather in the downstairs bowling green bar with four pints of bitter, sit around a small round table on small stools and stare out of the window as the evening darkness descends and the fog thickens for the night so that even the yellow floodlights on the bowling green can hardly penetrate the denseness.

"Christ its going to be thick tonight" Eric mutters
"We still going to town" asks Big Dave, incapable of making a decision on his own
It suits Eric to have a night in the Cardigan again because he doesn't think the three quid that he's got stashed at home will last long in Tiffany's, not with a bird in tow it won't, if it was just the lads then maybe, but birds want fancy drinks, bloody expensive fancy drinks with umbrellas and bits of fruit in, three quid won't buy many umbrellas and fruit.

"Think I'll stop in t'Cardigan tonight" he informs the others.
"Aye me too" Big Dave must be skint too
"Yeah" Wayne concurs
"You miserable bastards" Gordy is upset "I'll go on me own then"
"You on a promise or summat ?"
"No but I'm not stopping in t'Cardigan again"
"You are aren't you"
"I'm bloody not"
"Is it that blond one from last week ?"
"No its bloody not"
"I'll bet"
"Its not"
"Yer too keen Gordy, she'll have her hands on yer wallet afor you know whats 'appened"
"Am not seeing a bird"
"Course not"
"Am not"
"No ah know you're not"
"But am bloody not"
"no ah no"
"Bastards"

"Downey's dad has that Hong Kong flu you know" Wayne offers as a change of topic, "He's right bad"
"Aye its bad they reckon"
"Aye, Downey says he's got narrow eyes now, its bad when your eyes go all slitty like"
"Is that how they tell ?"
"Aye, sure sign its Hong Kong flu, slitty eyes"
"Yeah I've heard that too"
"Ger-away, is that real ?" Gordy is the gullible one
"Yeah, ah've heard that too, starts off like a bad cold, then slitty eyes is next, its bad if he's gone that far"
"Bloody hell, I didn't know it got you like that"
"Oh aye, it can get worse than that an all"
"Ger-away"
"No Gordy it can, sometimes you start putting your hands in your sleeves like this..." and Wayne tucks his right hand inside the open left hand sleeve of his coat, and his left hand in his right sleeve, "...then you start tork rike dis, heroo engreesh, you wan chow mein"
"F&%# off"
"No, is true engreesh, Downey-dad is proper chinaman now, eat onry bamboo shoot"
"F&%# off you're having me on"

The three of them are in hysterics now, pulling their eyes into slits and putting on the Benny Hill chinaman impression from the TV, Gordy is still not sure though, the Hong Kong flu epedemic is on the news all the time now and its supposed to be really bad, maybe it really does turn you chinese ?

More next time....

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