Its a short walk up St Michaels Lane to The Original Oak and they gather in the downstairs bowling green bar with four pints of bitter, sit around a small round table on small stools and stare out of the window as the evening darkness descends and the fog thickens for the night so that even the yellow floodlights on the bowling green can hardly penetrate the denseness.|
"Christ its going to be thick tonight" Eric mutters
"We still going to town" asks Big Dave, incapable of making a decision on his own
It suits Eric to have a night in the Cardigan again because he doesn't think the three quid that he's got stashed at home will last long in Tiffany's, not with a bird in tow it won't, if it was just the lads then maybe, but birds want fancy drinks, bloody expensive fancy drinks with umbrellas and bits of fruit in, three quid won't buy many umbrellas and fruit.
"Think I'll stop in t'Cardigan tonight" he informs the others.
"Aye me too" Big Dave must be skint too
"Yeah" Wayne concurs
"You miserable bastards" Gordy is upset "I'll go on me own then"
"You on a promise or summat ?"
"No but I'm not stopping in t'Cardigan again"
"You are aren't you"
"I'm bloody not"
"Is it that blond one from last week ?"
"No its bloody not"
"Yer too keen Gordy, she'll have her hands on yer wallet afor you know whats 'appened"
"Am not seeing a bird"
"No ah know you're not"
"But am bloody not"
"no ah no"
"Downey's dad has that Hong Kong flu you know" Wayne offers as a change of topic, "He's right bad"
"Aye its bad they reckon"
"Aye, Downey says he's got narrow eyes now, its bad when your eyes go all slitty like"
"Is that how they tell ?"
"Aye, sure sign its Hong Kong flu, slitty eyes"
"Yeah I've heard that too"
"Ger-away, is that real ?" Gordy is the gullible one
"Yeah, ah've heard that too, starts off like a bad cold, then slitty eyes is next, its bad if he's gone that far"
"Bloody hell, I didn't know it got you like that"
"Oh aye, it can get worse than that an all"
"No Gordy it can, sometimes you start putting your hands in your sleeves like this..." and Wayne tucks his right hand inside the open left hand sleeve of his coat, and his left hand in his right sleeve, "...then you start tork rike dis, heroo engreesh, you wan chow mein"
"No, is true engreesh, Downey-dad is proper chinaman now, eat onry bamboo shoot"
"F&%# off you're having me on"
The three of them are in hysterics now, pulling their eyes into slits and putting on the Benny Hill chinaman impression from the TV, Gordy is still not sure though, the Hong Kong flu epedemic is on the news all the time now and its supposed to be really bad, maybe it really does turn you chinese ?
More next time....