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10 Outlandish Rumours
Posted by southstander on January 25 2006 - 17:02:10

Racial Equality
By John D

The silly season is normally over by now, but rumours are still flying about over the 'Vainikolo to Leeds' business.

As rumours go, I reckon it's right up there with best. Time will tell of course, but here are 10 more rumours more outlandish.

10. A rumour persists that the author of this column was trying to insert a comment about Mark Oaten being LibDem spokesman for home affairs and make a terribly homophobic joke about it.

9. Stan Boardman will perform at the Commission for Racial Equality's spring ball.

8. The London whale was just the scout for a large-scale plan for a whale invasion of Britain.

7. England have unearthed a young leg spinner who will wow everyone on the tour of India, ensuring a series victory.

6. Someone was actually bothered about Jodie Marsh's harrowing tales of bullying on her 'release' from Celebrity Big Brother.

5. Sven Goran Eriksson is rumoured to be 'totally gutted' at his 5m+ pay off from the FA and being able to seek alternative employment immediately.

4. Secretaries at the FA are to have their wages docked now they can't enjoy the benefits of the erstwhile England manager.

3. The case about Celebrity Big Brother contestant and former Dead Or Alive mentalist Pete Burns' gorilla coat fell apart when a chimpanzee from Knowsley Safari Park couldn't pick it out of an identity parade.

2. Minichiello, Morley and Gower are all off to Salford. Mark, Chris and David, that is.

1. Odsal to be redeveloped as a "Super dome".



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