10. A genuine laugh-out-loud moment found in script for new episode of Last Of The Summer Wine.
9. The Daily Express runs with a front page that mentions neither the late Princess of Wales, house prices or asylum seekers.
8. The Conservative party go a full 12 months without a leadership contest.
7. Shares in Michael Jackson's chain of creches sky-rocket.
6. The next bunch in the Celebrity Big Brother house won't be a load of desperate Z-listers with over-heightened senses of their own importance.
5. An original joke appears in this column.
4. Nick Griffin awarded Nobel Peace Prize.
3. The Tykes average a break-even crowd figure for the season.
2. Bradford sign Marcus St Hilaire.
1. Leeds sign Nathan McAvoy.