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Big Daft Lads - The Curious Case of Johann Ramsey
Posted by southstander on February 11 2011 - 07:22:30

by McLaren_Field

In the second of our irregular feature on SouthStander.com we bring you to McLaren_Fields 'Big Daft Lads'.

You don't tend to play rugby league as a career step to becoming a doctor, solicitor or booker prize winning author. Our players pull on the jersey because they can hold a ball, take a tackle and cross the whitewash.

This leads to our game being full of 'Big Daft Lads' and undoubtedly this season will unearth more who leap across the line separating common sense and stipidity, almost as though it doesn't exist.

by McLaren_Field

Big Daft Lads

(Noun)
Def : Those who were only good at sports at school

Our academic study of the Big Daft Lad phenomena continues with a look at a subject close to every big daft lads heart, that of alcohol, the temptation and the abuse of and we question whether this substance is at the root of every Big Daft Lad’s transgressions. In our study we will use an anonymous subject known only as the pseudonym "Johann Ramsey", a professional rugby league player of some promise who’s Big Daft Lad-ness led to his ultimate downfall, disgrace and loss of employment.

Johnann Ramsey epitomises the phrase "Hero to Zero" although unusually he project managed the whole fall from grace himself and despite being offered several get-out clauses on the way he insisted on seeing the job through to its bitter climax of redundancy within the game. Only a Big Daft Lad could have achieved this with such aplomb, only a Big Daft Lad could have blithely ignored all of the warnings, second and third chances, such excellence of Big Daft Ladness is to be applauded and admired, if only to ensure that no-one else is Big, or Daft enough to follow suit.

Johann Ramsey’s hero status was never higher than the day he defied all refereeing logic to score the winning try in a game against his paymasters most bitter rivals in the dying seconds of the game, indeed in the seconds after the game had officially died - and in doing so also broke the land speed record for Human Motor Functions in order to travel the distance from an onside position to the tryline*.

Making the unexpected winning score of that game was unfortunately to be a highlight that he could not ever hope to repeat for within a few short months his Big Daft Lads love of staying out late, coupled with turning up late, led to him being moved to his clubs reserve side at the other side of the country, if Johann Ramsey thought that he could stay out late and turn up late at this new job then he was to be mistaken, we would expect nothing more of a Big Daft Lad.

And yet what are Big Daft Lads for if not to make the same mistake over and over again, for it is intrinsic in a Big Daft Lads mental state that they do not learn, ever, and are forever doomed to make the same mistake over and over again, in this respect Johann Ramsey did not disappoint.

Staying out late and turning up late is habit forming for Big Daft Lads and Johann Ramsey excelled at the practice, non-selections, fines and suspensions followed as did "one last chance" after another until finally he stayed out late and turned up late just once too often and was dismissed this week from his employment, not even the ignominy this time of being transferred to a reserve club, a place where all the cast-offs were sent to, for when the cast-off club wants to cast off one of their cast-offs then there is only one place to go - Barrow.

*only logical explanation ©Stevo

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