Wigan announce their continued investment in British players with the signing of former Parramatta and St George hooker Mark “Piggy” Riddell. The decision is greeted warmly by Rathbones Pies, who herald the creation of 200 new jobs to meet the expected increase in demand.
Plans for Salford’s new stadium hit a snag when the development company is placed into administration. The club is asking for all supporters to give them the bricks their cars are on in order to cut costs.
St Helens claim the Challenge Cup at Wembley with a win over Hull FC, with Steve Ganson controversially picking up the Lance Todd Trophy. Saints coach Daniel Anderson goes on to predict a period of unrivalled success for the club.
Following another season of underachievement, Warrington part with coach Paul Cullen who was said to be “uncredulous” and “flabberplastered” at being given the news. Sources close to Cullen say he is “optimatchstick” about his future however, having secured work as a speechwriter for George W Bush who he believes will be President for the next 20 years.
Trent Barrett plays his last game in Super League before returning home to Australia. His departure is delayed slightly however by an argument over whether his wallet now attracts an excess baggage charge. Strangely the suitcase reserved for his medals passed through unnoticed.
Huddersfield Giants announce a revolutionary new marketing idea set to take the worlds of retail and sport by storm. From 2009, in order to sell more of something they are proposing to reduce the price significantly. Major retailers such as Woolworths and MFI are believed to be closely monitoring developments.
Leeds Rhinos claim their second successive Super League title, beating St Helens in the Grand Final. Saints player Jon Wilkin claims that his team was distracted by the presence of cameras in the dressing room at halftime however as well as Leeds continued insistence on scoring tries, which disrupted the flow of the game.
England leaves for the 2008 World Cup in good spirits, after a virtual reserve side score a convincing victory against Wales in Doncaster. Coach Tony Smith is said to be “optimistically optimistic” that the team can lift the spirits of the nation by returning with the trophy.
England return empty handed from the World Cup, despite a morale boosting opening victory over the powerhouse challenge of Papua New Guinea. Coach Tony Smith is said to be “disappointedly disappointed”, and highlighted the appointment of Australian officials for key games as a turning point in the tournament. “As soon as they blew the whistle to kick off the game against Australia, we were in trouble”, said the coach.
Australia coach Ricky Stuart resigns after a foul-mouthed tirade against the officials following the hosts defeat to New Zealand in the final. His behaviour is described by ARL officials as “disgraceful, unsportsmanlike and not what we expect from an Australian. He should have just nutted them instead.”
Following the harrowing evidence in the trial of Michael Donovan and Karen Matthews, Lancashire police are advising residents of St Helens to check under their beds for Leon Pryce. The player has been missing since the end of September, and police are very worried for his safety as he left home without a glass in his hand.
Wakefield Trinity Wildcats claim the Tetleys Festive Challenge Trophy with a win over a depleted Leeds Rhinos side featuring four trialists at Headingley. Coach John Kear described the victory as “the proudest day in the history of the club, doubling our trophy tally of the last fifty years”. At least that’s what I think he said...